the elves attic

I WISH I COULD EXPLAIN this TO HER



I am afraid
I WILL WAKE UP
and this inspired political being
I am becoming
will be gone

i'd prefer not to go back
for now she hates this guy and is talking like she's leaving

now after the hospital stabalized
and i feel like this new thing
confident and prowling taut

the mad scared her deep
it has yet to really hit me
or I've moved on

I am too callous about her days of tears

seeing me back compulsively slammming out words
is too close to the mania before the mad
for her
the anger comes out in bitches over the small shit
she wouldn't usually sweat

i don't feel like there is anything else I want to be doing
and there are no words for that she has ever understood

i am mourning for her already
expect to lose what you love

you always do
sooner or later
one way or another

it doesn't amount to a hill of beans