me, myself, and my thighs

Ugh... I realized something today -- if you become the least bit of a public figure, even to the point of just blogging and writing my little books and the radio show... you are going to have critics.

As a critic of some things myself, I can see how easy it is to criticize. Especially if you take people's words out of context, etc...

I hate to hear or see myself perform, though in certain moods I like to read my writing. So, I am never going to read criticisms of my work unless they are from trusted friends, or critics who I can genuinely respect. If Don Delillo ever comes out and says I should have done this or that, You can bet I will be taking notes and mulling over his every word.

I am way too sensitive. I hate that I am like this. I would rather be just some guy who writes than a famous person, barring the financial benefits, which anyone in their right mind would prefer to my near poverty. I have been recognized a few times in public, and I find it kind of creepy. I mean, people have no idea who I am from reading my work. You think you do, though... I make the same mistake with other writers.

I have been writing mostly in the waking up jesus blog, but I am getting sick of it. The whole Jesus thing is annoying in a way. I had to write something about the mystical experiences that I had, but the poetry on the topic has kind of went from inspiring to bitching. I guess the tale has run its course. My little bible is done.

I am anxious to shed the entire religious persona, and go back to my usual agnostic view.... though I believe in god, I am no closer to knowing how to worship than I was when I was an atheist. Odd, this world of ours. Odd...