Dope Hopes

I awake lately feeling overwhelmed.  A sinking feeling in my gut over the thought of having to face another day.  My goals have been made ridiculous by what I know.   I lived my whole life for a few higher ideals that seem like bullshit to me.   I should never have tried to have a voice.  You just end up being shouted down by thugs hired by faceless corporations.

Today I tell myself, once again, quit reading newspapers, just immerse yourself in the existential and work on that proverbial rose garden.  Give up on people, just like they gave up on you.

I see why people hate me.  Scorn me.  Laugh at me.  I opened myself up to ridicule when I decided to point out the Emperor had no clothes, and everyone around me had been paid off to say he did, and I was the only one who was never told.

I am sick of wanting to be all things for all people and ending up feeling like nothing to anyone.   I am getting ready to just go back to fiction and comedy.  I don't think they will ever trust me enough to let me be a success, and get an open voice.  I wouldn't if I were them.

So fuck you world.  You have given me false hope for breakfest, lunch and dinner.  False gods and false boobs and false names and false ....   too many lies for my few lonely truths to stand out.