Among my readers, I was surprised to find George Bush. There is something shadowy about how they, and the pope, were the first people to come to me with confirmation that the peaceful revolution I was trying to start, was having very, very bizarre results. I wrote that people should come dressed in black, or psycodelic. And suddenly the Bushes were dressing in black. This threw me. I am a liberal green with socialist leanings. The last person I expected to care about my work was the white house. This is part of why I know, at this point, that people, for reasons that may be related to my growing wings, were watching me and waiting for me to do something (this is what I was told actually happened to create the scars on my upper back -- i was told they were tumors that developed because of the radiation they were blasting me with for spondalolathesis (which is not treated with radiation, by the way, except in my case... adding to the possible truth of this astounding thought...). Now, the wings could just be black psy-war shit that they were trying to convince me of, to stop me from continuing my popular campaign, total war for total peace. When I combined this with a hit radio show, the shadowy forces in the government attacked me.
I started this campaign and wrote something about how I march in the footsteps of Ceaser Chavez... suddenly, Bush was on tv saying he was going to tear down the wall on the MExican boarder. He suddenly appeared on my tv, waiting for me to make a decision on tearing down the wall. I was not about to get involved with something George Bush may have cooked up... and I am hardly the expert to ask about that wall. I do not like it, but at the same time, I hate the drug related violence tearing Texas apart (not to mention my Beloved Mexico, where the government is fighting for it's life against a violent, homegrown group of real terrorists, the drug gangs). I responded to the question of tearing down the boarder as honest and forthright as I could, "I would not presume to know."
Bush was trying to curry my favor... I did not know if he was at the end of a bayonet... because the events that started taking place, showing me that the strangest of all occurances was happening... people were saying, "No, the shit stops here. You will not destroy the world on my watch." A gorgeous happening, that involved violence. The first indication I had of guns going off was in LA, where a gang shot up a Nickelodean event because they were going on without any hollywood stars. Basically, this told me there was somekind of boycott going on, and that things were getting ugly. Nothing more was in the press about this, there was no one picked up by the cops... the story popped up and disappeared.
Consider what my position was like, now... I mysteriously was placed on a drug that is wildly NOT CALLED FOR when you are being treated for chronic pain, and the shit drove me manic. Which resulted in shrinks trying to get me to turn over my check to a nursing home, move in, and be treated with the drug that was driving me crazy for the rest of my life. THE WORST OF THE EXCESSES YOU HEAR ABOUT PSYCHIATRY ARE NOTHING COMPARED TO THE REALITY. They are seeking people to put on this drug, even the MD's who have no right to prescribe this shit at all, are subject to a 95 million dollar ad campaign pushing this drug. Meanwhile, it has been killing people (they market the drug now for little kids, and it not only drives them mad, but kills some).
Back to me... me... me.... I was trying to run a campaign during this. For the first few weeks of this, I had no idea why they would choose me? Now, I had just been offered a deal to shoot all of my short stories, do a radio, etc... this was the break I had been hoping for all of my life, and someone was intent of sabotaging me. THIS PISSED ME OFF. They do not get some fearful reaction from this warrior -- piss me off, expect a fight. I will not die on my fucking knees.
Anyways.... when I found that people were following my lead, after whatever I wrote became the topics of the Daly Show and Colbert (I thank them again for helping me... I owe them both eternal life), I was stunned that anyone would listen to me. Add into this... a few days before the radio show was to start, I suddenly went manic, then had a seizure (even though this has never happened to me on my present med's).... I was put in the hospital, and my girlfreind was told that I was sleeping for the next two days, and she should stay away. I woke up and found myself first with amnesia, and then with the idea that I was Christ rising up in my mind.
This was not like me at all.... Anyways... this leads to why Bush was taking my orders. I mean, the second largest private army in the world was suddenly announced to be coming into Illinois. They did not say why, but I knew it was about me. After that, it was obvious to me that I was under tight security. They rode the trains and buses with us, dressed in white t-shirts and jean pants. Cop looking ex-navy seals and shit. Later, I found out there were a lot of people who wanted to kill me over my writing, because I support crushing the Taliban out of existence. They want to jail the world into a reductionist vision; and they would kill me, so I want to kill them. If that movement caught on here, I would become their terrorist.
Anyways.. the reason I am writing about this stuff -- and if you want the whole story, you can buy my WAKING UP JESUS series, which is filled with top secret info. I was told they would kill me if I wrote this story, firming my resolve to write about it. It is hard to write, because I know that the government has been very effective at reducing conspiracies to the realm of the crazy right wing, to the point that SVU did a segment about me, and turned me into a nut. They even had this artist progtanist doing paintings just like mine, dressing only in black, like people do when they are taking revolutionary against in my campaign. I do not always dress in black, though I usually do. They took their resident conspiracy theorist on the show, and had him turn against everything the character once stood for, to the point of showing his crazy ex wife who still believes. I understand they change stories somewhat, but it is proof, not suspicion, of their intent when they make me look like a nut. THIS AFTER DRUGGING ME TO MAKE ME LOOK AND FEEL NUTS RIGHT WHEN FAME WAS KNOCKING ON MY DOOR. They really will do anyting to stop my message. This only confirms my need to keep writing and fighting.... . I used to wonder if anyone was even reading me? What a shock to see that the intelligence agencies were wasting so much time on me.
Why? I wondered, would I be the one that this maelstorm had developed around. I found out later that I was considered a host of mystical things. I did not realize how supersticious people are, or ready to believe the extrodinary. They were actually following my words based on things like thinking I was a space man, Joseph, an angel, and Christ. Listen to the Killers song Spaceman, and you will hear the whole story. I LOVE THAT BAND, AND WILL HOPEFULLY ONE DAY BE ABLE TO TELL THEM IN PERSON HOW MUCH THEIR MUSIC HAS INFORMED ME. A lot of bands have written about this, using words and clues from my poetry written during the earliest period of my crusade. Having these kind of followers revealed to me a hidden world of Masons, The Pope, The President, and otherrs. I was stunned. I dismissed conspiracy theories, like an idiot... Then right there they were, in my life.
I think a lot was made about the Ridgways having been the most powerful force in England for centuries. I am at the elder at the end of a line that may even be the lost tribe of Israel. Just found out there were jewish Ridgways in England. Who knows? I was told a lot of things during this campaign, and at the same time was having religious expereinces that were just totally unbelievable, including being told in a dream that my co-host was being beaten up -- he had a black eye and other injuries when I next saw him. The point is, other people believe these things, and know a lot more about me than I do. This added to my confusion. I thought they had discovered that I was Jesus. Indeed, this Jesus voice took over my mind, and made a lot of decisions for me -- I followed inspiration, feeling like my best ethics had to always be on display, which was difficult with the drugs. '
With all the bugs in my apartment, my life became a performance. I talked to them, tried to freak them out, played with their minds. My followers saw the same things, having set up cameras inside.... I was like in the middle of left and right bugs. If this had ever happened to me before, I did not know about it. Believe me, if you are an actor and are suddenly on the governments own reality show, you react like hell.
Sometimes I think they made me into a puppet. In the Blog Wars -- where the future consciousness is right now being born, they wanted me on their side. But it was more than this.
Now, I was looking at my readers statistics, and discovered that over a thousand folk from Texas had read me in the last few weeks. Why Texas, I wondered? Then I remembered that Bush was always reading me, and was in Crawford. Why so many hits? I write a lot, and if someone is trying to monitor what I write, they would have to come on line a lot. The government, who has actually come into my blog and made changes, as well as locking me outof my original blog, and actually disappearing a few entries they really did not like... They stopped me from getting in to make this right, so I started new blogs with the original material.
I told Bush a lot of things through those bugs. I was Christ, he was a Christian who had been filled with right wing lies about me. How could I blame him for being born into a mental cesspool?
Christ is forgiving -- he looks at lives in their fullest perspective, from birth to .... and see's humans as victims of circumstances. He blames the villages who raised them more than the individuals caught in the mental webs.
So... Bush had to be forgiven. But he just continued sinning, so Christ wrote him off. I did, however, tell him that he should change his ways, go into a monastary, and spend his life trying to be a Redeemer. I told him he could have a whole nother future, and that in a few years, after my anger died down, he would become one of my students. I am hopelessly hopeful, which is why I write such cynical, bitter comedy -- like they say, only a romantic can be a cynic, which leaves unsaid that on other issues, a romantic is still a romantic, and a cynic only on certain issues which have let them down...
I know how stupid this all sounds. Still... I also understood that relying on the Left for a revolution was not enough. There are plenty of good people in any political party. They are deluded by their leaders, who must lie because their agenda is to do whateve their rich lobbyiest want, which is to prop up whatever way they are making money. Like the health insurance cabal. This leach on humanity should not even exist anymore. They are profiting off of something that is too sacred to be left to the vagaries of an unfeeling bottom line, and national healthcare works all over the world and the critics know as much (though they delude their followers into thinking otherwise). When you have right wing leadership that is working for a few people at the top and actually screwing thier own voters, you have are emporers with no cloths. Sooner or later, someone is going to notice -- as voters did after Bush.
So, all you thousands of hits in Texas.... Bush. I hope that you know that only by exposing what you did, will get your soul right with God. You are on a direct trajectory into hell. I speak to you in religious terms because you have glimpsed my power. Your staff resigned when I told them to. I could have had you killed, and almost got Jeb killed. You should have told me how I was being looked at, and the gravity with which people were taking my words. Instead, people in the media had to inform me. From Soap Operas to CNN, I was actually inter-acting with tv shows. I thank all of them. One morning I walked across the living room naked, and Regis Kelly said, "Well, there's a little morning brown eye." I would forget they were watching, or get too pissed to care how I shocked them. You cannot begin to imagine how weird this was.
This is part of why I kept the bong in front of me and smoked all the time. Just to rub it in their fucking faces.
Here I am exposing all this shit. A lot of people know about this. I am always afraid that all these people know what happened better than I, and they read my conclusions and laugh at my ignorance.
Man.... I have to go get some tuna for a sick cat. My oldest boy, raised by me since he was six weeks old, is now almost twenty. He is going to go in the next few years and I am already stocking xanax. I take this shit hard. When I was driving cab, I kept pictures on the dash, and talked about the cats a lot, just to keep the millionth person from discussing the weather with me, and senior citizens by the score told me they would no longer have pets after suffering so much from their deaths.
Sorry to ramble around so much. Whenever I get on this topic, there is always so much more to say that I do. KNOW THOUGH -- I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP.
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