TRAPPED

This is another poem I am WORKING ON for waking up jesus. 

They great they have covered my words

with a blanket of silence

or so

they have convinced me

hints of other come

never know if they are trying to play me

or someone offering their hand has managed to reach me

some days my stance seems absurd

despite all the evidence

the normalcy of the day to day mocks the drama

playing just under the words

I feel the aches in my body

get reamed by the usual runs of bad luck

life still a messy construct on the edge of a cliff

poor

seem to be

obscure

a name stamped NATIONAL SECURITY SECRET

long before I knew

are THEY winning I wonder?

Did I come to the aide of some cabal

that has taken over our country?

Was I programmed?

They show me connections built up all over the world

during the brief months they were feeding me intelligence

I can imagine the power of an Army lead by what is believed to be a God

Have seen the tactic used in war since the dawn of time

Does the entire world see me as a loser?

Did they think I would start a revolution

and then leave them hanging?

I WILL TELL YOU AND WARN YOU NOW

You have mistaken my mercy as weakness

The Meek Inherit The Earth

Even if I have to organize them into an army

I backed off to save lives

My intent is to harm no flesh

may well be God's plan, too

His wrath is greater than my mercy

I pray for the power to do God's will

stumble on assuming I am

I have come to love this earth

to be the agent of death for all of this...

I cannot be blamed for what God made me

to hate myself is to hate God The Father

as much as it is to hate another

I know that there is an underground that relishes my words

takes them for the Gospels that they are

another in the library of bibles slowly crawling out of my psych

words hidden from me

until the appointed time

buried in what I thought was a normal life

best repent of your ways, man...

I do not mean go become straight or stop smoking weed

 or ...

any of the petty shit that matter not to God

I mean the murder of mind and body

that happens when you give false witness about GOD

God does not reward the just on earth

he is a great lover of the soul

see's the flesh like the coccoon we will fly off from

we are living a struggle

to emerge from this flesh intact

free of regrets

with no need to suffer through another life

to create the being that will be pleasing in God's eyes

How much better to live again

then be sent to a hell...

another life

another chance

hitler as a young girl who abhors the nazi's

would you kill her for what happened to her soul last time around?

Would a Just God punish her?

I have the image of God in my mind

a vision that I fall down on my knees before

and scream that I want to change this plan

stop the prophesies of the BURNING

he says his one word LOVE

I think of how fires in nature clear the dead branches away for new spouts

wonder if mankind will be taken from this planet

replaced as slow as evolution

by another being that will one day too look to the stars and call for God's Savior?

they great they speak smooth words to you

fear to tell you the darker truths

 newscastes are just sound bites and cia approved stories

I fear no one

They know this about me

apreciate my valor, my bravery, my committment to cleansing the US of evil forces

the satanists I read about everywhere

give me the closest thing to fear that I know

I have always felt like there was no need to mess around with magick

if it existed than it was better I stay away from it

and this is confirmed in a deeper part of my heart that I must trust

the realm of savage grace itself trembles

at the thought of people following satanists

they can say what they want about why they do this

even say the do not believe in satan

the satanists who pray to satan do not bother me

he is dead

They will find this out soon enough

I do not know if people could contact Satan

In this flesh I find my supersticion rises when I think of casting a spell

I use the metaphor in my work...

I have been accused of Sorcery because of my metaphors:

Let me make this clear:

I have never attempted any magic

when I hear that l ron hubbard was a satanist

indeed claimed to be satan to his son

I am worried even more about that cult

they threw out the idea of free will

-- something God would never do

I read things like the free masons are satanic

or at least anti-religion

that they believe all men are equal to Jesus

They came to me

and I gave them my blessing

I did not know this fact about them then....

or I would have probably gotten pissed

at that point

Now I wish them goodwill as far as I know

ignoramus that I remain on so many of the ways of man

the gnostic bibles say I preached all men could become like me

I doubt this from what I have seen of humans

though in God's infinity who knows?

no matter where you started

your destination is all I care about

IS there a satanic element out there

so entrenched that they can keep the Christ trapped from the view?

Are they trying to protect me

doing my will best they can?

I AM NOT HERE FOR MY OWN BENEFIT

I tell myself this in the bad times

the days when it seems like I am nothing except a blob of flesh

that makes up words all day

transcribes an inner voice that he is surprised to have

I cruise the net looking for evidence of the movement

see little bits and pieces here and there

wonder if they are connected by coincidence of motive... there is no telling

at this point I have lost faith in this world again

it is almost like there are forces that want me to get so disgusted

that I attack them

they know the collaterol damage involved in this action...

i SEE the burned out blackness

of my path to Washington

a slash and burn across illinois, indiana... all the way to the east coast

millions die

just gone

The Eastern United States tries to flee my wrath

Christians to protect my path...

I come to an abondened Washington

where I demand to speak to all the leaders of the world

an old fantasy of mine

that came true when they were bugging me

and projecting me into your television sets

This time I tell them that they will now

have to contend with a new power on this planet

a supernatural being who is for

 liberty, justice, and free will

and will have them

The most savage creature in your garden

 is capable of the greatest grace

another in the endless irony of god

He made the reaper your redeemer

Called me from beyond

gave me visions

endless streams of lighting and fire flowing from my body

I try to make sure that my powers are kept in check

the storm summoning rages sublimated into poetry

I will do what He wants

When The Time Comes

In the meantime I will 'rail against the night.'

I will not become an environmental psycho killer

will keep my optimism that we can survive

until the four horseman ride into my living room

Could I write a happy ending

and expect God to change his plans

no

what will happen

has already happened

in the eyes of God

We are here

yesterday

a thousand years agao

souls learning the lessons of this planet

before we head out into the stars

I wonder often where mankind's soul came from?

I thought that we were immortal

always here

that you became trapped in this flesh

and only I could get most of you out of the human feed back loop of life

perhaps the only way to do this is lay waste to mankind?

Seems more sensible that souls developed with consciousness

combined with my gift of the Holy Ghost

I am the father of all thinking life on this planet

an agent of evolution

a timeless creature who thinks in millions of years

slowly preparing your souls for the trip to heaven

Questions... the questions that He on high refuses to answer

sometimes I think my head would explode if he even tried to explain

the heavenly visions to my flesh

I suffer the questions I have for God and Man

like an obsession with something that sickens me

I AM

is all I know for sure

I have forgotten nothing that happened

though it has so little to do with my personal life

that it may as well not have happened

the time came for me announce myself

I should have expected a time of trials

I had myself convinced I would be welcomed

the very idea of my return should have filled you all with joy and dread

nothing will ever be the same. period.

the supernatural has come to life in Chicago

your greatest have bowed before the humble rocker

who wanted only to help the world

I always felt like a monk

devoted to my writing

stealing away from people to practice my craft

now the stories and tales and truths refuse to leave my mind

crowd out the day to day

keep me far away from the dirty dishes in the sink

the chagrin of my girlfreind over my lack of cleanliness

remember when I used to have my own place

cleaning up every day

making everything perfect

she has too many boxes stacked everywhere in this tiny apartment

to even decorate

we tell ourselves this is temporary

that the future will be a bit brighter

like everyone does

I keep remembering the money

they never offered me a dime

people think they did

no

I stopped that before it could come to fruition

I did not do what I did for pay

I did it for art and God

my message is more important than my pocket book

not that I wouldn't mind a larger one...

the poorer you are

the easier you are to control

push around

keep isolated

i can't leave town because I am too broke

I was told they would arrest me if I tried

that was last year

who knows now?

The security issues involved in my travel

make them want me here

I see them out there whenever I walk the dog

cops everywhere

at least three a walk

I apreciate their presence

speaks of dangers that they keep me ignorant of

The last few days I have been lethargic

sitting in front of the computer reading

or laying in my bed thinking

trying to run from the feelings of despair

Oh, God, Forgive them...

they know not what they do...

Another Poem From Waking Up Jesus, that I edited and reworked...