the elves attic

CELEBRITY DIVORCE COURT... with sheen and that other ho



CELEBRITY DIVORCE COURT... with sheen and that other ho


What follows is a transcript from Celebrity Divorce Court, where the honorable Judge Gary Coleman presided over the tragic case of Charlie Sheen VS. Some Blonde Actress!!!

HONORABLE GARY COLEMAN: Here come da' judge, her come da' judge. Now, who is this fine blonde bitch, here?"

NOTSOHONORABLE CHARLIE SHEEN: She's my bitch.

HGC: What you talking about, Charlie?

NSHC: My babies momma.

HGC: I'm gonna need to see that shit in my chambers... what you mean I don't have any chambers?

NSHCS: Your honor, my soon to be ex-wife demanded that they not give you chambers. She considers you washed up. Not me, man... hell, you know you can come by for some pipe and whores at Charlies' anytime, my little man.

HGC: This ain't gonna be like before, when you kept me in a cage so your guests could poke me with damnd long barbacue forks?

NSHCS: That was my brother, man.

HGC: I guess it's better that we both pretend I believe that. Alright, Charlie, you can have custody of the kids...

NOTSOHONORABLECHARLIESHEEN: "Oh, hey, now.... uh, I don't want custody of all of them... just their, uh, used panties.

HGC: What you talking about Charlie?

Johnny Pain: I'm going to have to kill everyone in this courtroom.

Everyone In Courtroom: "Ahhhhhhh!!!!!!"