squirming around in my stomach
the self pitter pattering thoughts that mumble along behind our closed lips
the drip drip drip of water in a pitch black primal cave
the equations solved and baffling in our selves, the world, our loves and hates
non-sequitars all
this must mean that this means....
I am a series of interlapping theories on psych, flesh and spirit
Changeable, malliable theories...
ever growing more complex
I want this and that from time to time
act without any long range plans
as unable to tell what path -- if any -- it is better for a man to take
lAST night I watched a documentary about a cult, where an older guy claimed he was Jesus and he knew that the world was going to end in october of 2007. These people were living for the armeggedon. They were very happy, especially the kids, who instead of going to school got to surf the web, and hang out with a person whom they think is Jesus Christ. His son was one of the biggest believers. At some point, the son brought his wife out to live on their commune, and the father, who says he is the God, was commanded to 'consumate' with her. He thought that since he got horny around her, this was God saying sleep with her.
He also wrote in some sermon one week that he thought that people should stand naked before God. So, the next week the women decided that this meant that they should get naked with their own personal Jesus. Which they did. Supposedly they begged him for sex but he held out, even with the fourteen year old.
I watched almost all of the video, filled with their smiling, earnest faces. These people were originally seventh day aventist, whose church was started with a big american revival, that snatched huge swaths of the population up at the time, saying the world was going to end on such and such a day. Thousands sold all their possessions. Well, world's still here... and so is the church that was left from this movement. And here they are, manifesting the same human behavior of their predecessors.
I couldn't watch the end. I didn't want to see all these people looking crushed, and then either stay in the cult or move on to the next one.
People spend way too much time thinking that they have found someone who really knows God. No one knows God. And the sooner a preacher admits this to themselves, the sooner they can be humble enough to even begin to understand God.
Or, so it seems to me....
We are promised in every secular sentence that we are alone
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