the man comes around...

This Entry Is More Oriented Toward My site http://wakingupjesus.blogspot.com
Waking Up J. tells the story of a god waking up in Rogers Park from a fleshly sleep that made him an agnostic writer of dark comedy, who believed religions were mental infections. The world convulses when news and miracles and evidence surfaces all over the globe that yes, this is the one. The president and pope and hollywood and citizens all over the world take note of the godling.

At this point in the story, he is under a sort of city arrest. Chicago has had to bring in a private army to keep him safe. THey work with him and against him... after keeping him ignorant of the fact that he started growing wings at five and had secret cabals watching his every move, trying to figure out what he was. They decided he was an angel, because he was always doing good acts. At other times though, he acted like a man... a sex craving, drug doing writer with few inhinitions about what he writes. Different than other men in signifciant ways.

When he suddenly begings writing about taking over the world forces begin to gather in his name. He thinks he is making jokes, does not realize that he is already acting under commands from god. He was kept hidden because the last time he was born as CHRIST Herrad had all the boy children in teh city slaughtered.

This is a book for anyone. It will offend christians more than atheists. This is a mythic undertaking, written humbly... I had a bunch of prophetic dreams and supernatural experiences, which caused me to become a christian of sorts. Mostly the feeling of the Voice Of God coming through me when I write prose in this voice. IF you like it, you can see the new work on the blog, or buy a preliminary version of the book on Lulu. My girlfreind loves getting all the different additions. Oh, well. It will be a good record for me.

I have only one book up that I am comfortable with entirely. And I would still make some changes in it if I had the time. One War. And what do I do with this one book? I start giving it away for free. That is right, google my real name and follow the links to One War... it is a short book. Tell me what you think of it. I have heard only raves, so something else would be refreshing, even if it is vile and hateful.

This is the book that started the government watching me. They got a manuscript early purely by accident. The Jesus Book also goes into him being bugged and shit, and all that happened to me. I will someday write a book about how my blog almost caused a war here in the states. For right now, it is better to stay vague because I suspect that there are legal issues to take into consideration.

I still believe, as I wrote in a poem.,


The general tells his startled officers

we keep no secrets from even the leaset of our enemies

we will need them in the end to lead us out of this forest of lies


Here is the entry in the voice of Jesus. This is not typical. Usually he writes in poetry, but I am adding a lot more prose to the work to ground the poetry in the true events that took place. There is a lot of top secret stuff in my work. Seek and ye shall find.....

Summer has hit Chicago, filling the park and beach with people, the paths with young mothers and dog walkers and joggers and elderly people moving slow and steady around the circle of asphalt weaving through the trees, sand, hills, tennis courts, beach... A gorgeous walk accross the street from my house. Even in my relative poverty I have a lot to be grateful for. M and I took a nice walk with ruby doo this morning, going over to the artist wall, where they are repainting the thirty or so murals down by the pier. You see all kinds of paintings, ranging from little kids stick figures to elaborate, seriously artistic portraits. The theme this year is Winds Of Change. Last year, there were a few that referred to me, so I looked for the same thing this year... for example, one said that I had finally left my castle, only to mistaken for a weed, and that I was disappearing agAIN but still growing inside. Another called this neighborhood Area Fifty One, and had an alein in a garden. There was a lot of Jesus stuff... one of my dog and cat that remained unfinished all year.

I always say I am going to go do this, and I am a fair painter, you know... I sell whatever I want. As gifts they overwhelm people. So, you know... well, you can find my paintings all over the net, under my non de plume, john scott ridgway.

Walking about I feel like a man for awhile. Just me and the warm sun on my back,the iced coffee in my hand, the taste of blueberry scone on my lips. M is dressed all hippy, with a psychodelic shirt and bell bottoms. I am all in black, with a blueish green suit coat tossed over. Actually I lied. My new converse are blue high tops. I tried to get black, then grey... they only had blue and I was in a hurry to get new shoes so... they are blue. No meaning is meant to attatched to the color,but my poetric mind still has to make connections. I think of blue as the sky usually, so the color reminds me of inifinity.

FOr awhile people were convinced I was even conveying messages with my clothing. A women came up to me after I told Israel they were my cradle and have my love (especially the kibbutz, where they live a communistic life that is sensible and fullfilling), she is black and middle aged, looks very disturbed.... she says, "You're wearing green pants, what does that mean?"
I had no answer ready, so she just went on, "Is Israel a good place to go?"
"Yes," I told her, "I would like to see Israel."

I left her then like a mad women on the streets who I don't have the time,money or knowledge to help.

Now, I am begginning to feel the awful weight of my position more and more and yes, my cloths and hair and words and actions are all metaphors. Always were. I will tell you stories from my youth, true and irrefutable, with witnesses and documentation galore, that will add up to the equation which shows that in all of humanity, I am the Factor X... the unknown entity...

I wrote some more of the Johnny Pain prose. Writing in the guise of a slap stick serial killer makes me feel like I am comically narrating a video game. That would be fun, actually, to write all this crazy ass dialog for a johnny pain game. Any body our there making games?

Probably not.

This entry is just to come in and touch base, to tell you that I Am here.

wake and bake

The computer being back up is like a dream come true. Odd how much this little tech no advance has totally sucked me into its world. There is almost no way to get a clear view of anything in this world without the scope of the net. This truly is revolutionary. People who were raised with this plethora of information have no idea the trevails people had to go through before; your human geography was once your sole source of info, then the newspapers... the corporate run, politician licking... well, we all know how worthless they are at getting anything in depth right. If I really know about a topic, the journalists ignorance is apparent as hell.

Especially scientific reports. Never trust that a journalist has done anything more than read a press release from the pharmecutical industry or the white house.

Now we have something like an Authurian circle that the smallest, weakest child in Africa can find out what it is like in the arctic, or the historic roles of their forefathers, and, even more important... the urge to be free and have liberty and an open press becomes a very vital thing in peoples lives when they have the net and want to be able to sate any curiosity. These ideas can usually be seen as intellectual ideals that have little to do with our day to day, but on the net we see graphically how china and other countries censor the net.

The one world consciousness is being created in this grand conversation. This is why I feel like even my life is less important than the words that I insert into the future. I was raised to give my all for the working man, to have loyalty first with my family and friends, and then law enforcement, gov.... I would never be a traitor, etc... unless, I, as an individual, decided it was the right thing. I will never let a government have my soul... take blind orders from anyone. I will always question.

I wish I could say that I had a date when the world consciousness would switch to an ethical way of living that is in harmony with nature. My prediction would be three or four generations from now. I hope to live to see a lot of it...

I was awakened this morning by PAIN. The back of course. Man, I take a ton of drugs and still get this shit. They gave me like three new ones this hospital trip, too... making my daily intake over twenty pills a day. I tried a morphine patch, didn't help... now, it is a mix of all sorts of minor shit that works together so I can avoid the trevails of narcotics. I do not want to be addicted to something which you become immune to. THose drugs... the doctor can't give you enough after awhile to end thepain. Been there.. layed in agony for a year dealing with this shit...

MAn, it has been a wild life for me. I have been going over my life extensively lately, as I write this book using my life as the basis and telling the Jesus story. There are so many mystical experiences in my story that I am amazed I ever veered into atheism. I guess I just did not want to examine the obvious.... i WANTED SOMETHING ELSE... I did not want the world to be as it is..

Now, after what I have been through, I am spiritual... in a weird way, though... when I am writing poems for the waking up jesus book... I feel a spirit filling me and go into something of a trance. My hand moves by itself almost (I have been writing mostly by hand due to the computer problems, and have been off and on for a year.

I have been so busy on the waking up ... book, and organizing the new edition of the religious psycho killer that I have barely had time to consider my next project.

I am hoping to take the ridgway book and put it on line, rewritten in clearer, more interesting language. I will credit the original writer of course. I sure have an interesting family. Monks, crusaders, kings... Last winter I began to recieve messages saying my family was the blood of christ, and that I started growing wings at five. At five I did have a mysterious year in a hospital, where I was given chemo and told that two tumors on my back needed removed. These, allegedly, were wings.

I know this sounds completly out there... I am used to seeing things very scientifically. This could have been a disinformation campaign, because I have definatly become a target for various intelligence agencies. Man, knowing someone has snuck in your house while you are gone, bugged your apt... you start to feel like the government really is your enemy.

There is a part of me that feels like if Obama does not win the presidency, that I will forced to take radical action to help straighten out this country. I do not know what I will do... nothing illegal or harmful to others. I will probably leave america.

I would love to go down to venezuala and live... see a socialist government trying to pull it together would be a very interesting book to write. I could sell oil paintings, get my social security, and probably live pretty good. I'll help the activists to get pot legalized.

I wish I could do that here. I think america is too hung up on Puritan values to ever see the truth on some things. Too bad. Pot is a great way to find the spiritual in the mundane. For me, at least. Everyone experiences this differently. I don't recommend kids smoke it, though I know they do. I would not smoke with a teenager, because it is unlawful.

I do not have kids, and may never... though I would love a few, I do see how my lifestyle is hardly fit for young ones. I write all day and would sooner or later get caught up in my work and leave on in the bathtub to drown or something...the headlines would read like and old dragnet script:"Pot head gets stoned and drowns baby."

ANyways, with all the blogs I have going at this point, I still want one where I can just come in and be myself. Mostly, I am writing in character. I have yet to use the characters I invented for the radio show, where I played like eight people plus... even Johnny Pain, my serial killer, has kind of been set aside for the Jesus thing.

Since I do nothing but write, I can immerse myself in the book to the point that I think of almost nothing else. This keeps me in the mood of the text, and seeing the world from the perspective that my deity does.

I also have another project I want to get going, and will as soon as M gets her video camera. I know some very cool buddhist meditations that literally trigger visions in your mind. I was astounded by this, and everyone is. The english prof. who introduced me to the basically tibeten buddhist group, responded to my query about what this thing was she was dragging me to with, "You wouldn't believe it if I told you." She was right. I can also hypnotize someone into sleep. A calm, nice sleep. I think this would be a serious boon... and it always works. I will just do it for the hell of it, but hypnotism and words and the idea of casting spells over anothers consciousness are very interesting to me.. if I can spread good will, you know?

Mostly the comedy and drama will be made into movies. I am starting with poetry. I will read the revolutionary poetry in one guise, with a lot of crazy inflections and various voices with a lot of photos and real sets behind me... then I will also be doing the jesus poetry. I will be reading this rather straight forward like Jesus.

This will be interesting to see... how people react. I know most of the people who are reacting to my work are underground. Weird that I would end up being some kind of hero to the underground, who people in tv and hollywood know about, but still I sit here in Chicago with barely enough weed money.

By the way, if you have not checked out independent documentaries, google that thing up and watch some cool films. They have Michael Moore, Jesus Camp, and a hell of a library of radical documentaries. A treasure. M and I watched a dissection of 9 11 last night. There sure are a lot of unanswered questions. Would they do it? I have studied military intelligence, though I do not know the complete history of how people have started wars in the past. I do know that the results of 9 11 was the same as pearl harbor... and was it a set up? Probably. If it happened, those involved should be prosecute. I cannot imagine an operation this top secret will ever come to the surface. For all we know, they killed everyone involved, then killed those who killed them. These are people who will do anything to win. Period.

Winners and losers are the great illusion of this flesh. Everyone is equal.

I saw mancow on channel 32 fox news as I clipped by the station, stopped to listen and found myself wanting to kick his ass again. I started my peace campaign by calling that lying, sold out ass seep. He is exactly the kind of guy who gets strung up for being a traitor in a revolution. I don't advocate doing any violence to him. He is not worth it. Get an education and he is laughable, sophmoric, and ... slightly dangerous. He was throwing out some rumor about ms. obama saying whitey in a speach, which has been proven to just be a made up republican plot.

He was coming out against father pleiger for talking about clinto during church, saying there should be a seperation between church and state. I agree on this as well... however, when one is in the church of a man who is going to be the next president, you can hardly ignore politics. He is such a better man that Mancow that it make me thing eugenics might not have been such a bad idea.

Enough patter, I should get to work. I have two notepads of poetry to put up. My new poetry has toned down some of the apocolyptic stuff that was coming up in the jesus wakes up book. I am ending the book on a note of forgiveness now, as the Jesus sees that the extrodinary situation of his existing makes the crazed reaction of th e intelligence agenceis at least understandable, however absurd, wasteful, and insane.

,

back on line

I have been off line for a bit, while the viruses were taken out of my machine; they had to clear the hard drive and I lost all my shit I was working on... mainly, manuscripts of the books already published, that I am probably going to have to work on for The rest of my life, or until i GET another editor. Oh, well. SUCKS FOR YOU.

I have been writing like mad, by hand, filling three notebooks with new poetry and prose. Mostly, I have been writing more poetry for the book waking up jesus. The edition I have published right now is basically the poetry up to that point. I have decided that the end form of the book will involve going from narrative, first person prose on jesus, to second person description, and then of course the poetry. Right now, the poetry is mostly what I have written. This gives me the ability to bury some of the top secret shit I have learned of late about the intelligence agencies that have been targeting 930,000 peace activists in the United States. Amazing, huh?

Without my trusty laptop, I was forced to read newspapers again. This apartment fills up fast with trib's, suntimes, the new york time, the red eye... and, embarrassingly enough, I occasionally even read the new york post. They are all full of shit, but they do a run down of the crimes and that always interests me. There is a free newspaper here in town that shows all the crimes of the last month and where they were. I pick it up, read that colemn, and leave it on the bus... or trash it... you know? What should you do when you finish a newspaper on a bus? I love it when I come accross a newspaper on the train. Others would too, right? I leave my newspapers because of this thought. Oh, well.

The new apartment, despite being tiny, has a large porch outfront, which we, see we are the end apartment, get the hugest portion, about twenty feet. You can see a baseball diamond across the street, and beyond that the lake. The dog, husky ruby doo, has learned to stay on our side of the porch, period. She loves laying out there... all day long. I don't have to tie her up... well, I did for three days, and she got the message. Such a smart dog. We live behind iron gates and a high fench, so no one off the street can get to our door... so we leave it open and let her come in and out. I love laying out there as well. Weirdly enough, accroos from our builiding, about 40 feet away, is a brick wall with no windows... though it is an apartment building. The view out of the living room window is a beige brick wall. Funny.

I have been trying to get to the bottom of all of the events that happened to me during the last year or two dealing with the media and the radio show and my new found kind of fame and how my writing has caused some of my readers to ACT IN WAYS I WOULD NOT APPROVE OF.\

As you may or many not know, I am trying to write a cosmology, similar to a religion in most ways, that can give people of any religion, and athiests, a framework for living that we all agree on.

I call these ethics, common ground. I think that just a few commandments that can be agreed on universally would let everyone in the world know where they stand with everyone else. Since the internet is where the futures consciousness will be developed and shapped into world wide cultures that are free of geographical prejudices, this is the place for this little experiment of mine.

I do not miss the radio show, though I do miss having a project going. I want to do a bunch of short movies, and Mary Ann has agreed to be my camera person. She grew to dislike going to the radio show, because her full time job got in the way... but she loves photography, so we are getting her a nice camera and a cool editing system and bam.,... all these visions of movies playing in my head will come to life.

I AM GOING to read my poetry and make videos of that. This will be cooler than just doing a blog reading of them where you see my head, though that is an option. I could do that and then maybe animate myself or whatever, though I would rather go out with a camera and shoot all over this gorgeous city.

We have the greatest set in the world in the streets, parks, subways of Chicago. The films will be crazy, hard core political shit. In your face. I almost expect another attempt on my life. I Got a lot of threats, then a connection told me that the intelligence agencies had found four people plotting to kill me. They are bugging almost every call made. Amazing waste of time, mostly... then they find whatever and they track em down. Thank God for them, even though i AM STIL ANNOYed about what they did to me.

I look back on all the revolutionary writing in the elves attic, since closed by someone and some of the stories were changed by someone... anyways... and I see why they were worried, and I see why some revolutionary groups who were just waiting for a cause reacted radically, showing the world that Americans will stand up and take their rights back if the government fucks up. We will hit the woods with our guns if they fuck us again like in Florida. I almost feel like if McCain wins...

I do know what will happen if they kill obama... the streets will be fire and blood, as the people rage against the world that would allow their dreams to be shot down again. Fire with fire. I will not accept John Mcain as the president either.

He has moved from a centerist to a neo con to get elected. This means he threw out his old values. He is taking money from people he never would of -- people who want another bush. He is not too old now, but I fear that if he gets another term he will turn into an empty headed reagen led along by his staff.


Obama is the best choice for america as a country. The symbol of a black man at the healm will make a lot of people world over think we have finally changed, that america is the leader when it comes to a democracy, and we can still be revolutionary... we can show the world how to do this peacefully, now.

I was at the hospital today, the old chronic pain... I go to the welfare hospital, and there was a dude sitting by me who wanted to talk and we went on and on... so many people here have black panther stories, and they are heros to me. The Fbi drove them to the acts that made them infamous, but if you look into them they started by giving kids breakfests, etc. People were afraid in the white community, because they were demanding their rights. Then they veered too far into the criminal world to act effectively within the system... not that the system would have done much for them then.... when neighborhoods here in town that would have once beaten up a black for walking in their hood, are voting obama.
\

There has been a great shift. Hugo Chavez calls it the Peoples awakening. I know I feel like I have been called to help make a major shift in the world toward the simple little things we believed as children -- make love not war.

I hope you all are well.