wake and bake

The computer being back up is like a dream come true. Odd how much this little tech no advance has totally sucked me into its world. There is almost no way to get a clear view of anything in this world without the scope of the net. This truly is revolutionary. People who were raised with this plethora of information have no idea the trevails people had to go through before; your human geography was once your sole source of info, then the newspapers... the corporate run, politician licking... well, we all know how worthless they are at getting anything in depth right. If I really know about a topic, the journalists ignorance is apparent as hell.

Especially scientific reports. Never trust that a journalist has done anything more than read a press release from the pharmecutical industry or the white house.

Now we have something like an Authurian circle that the smallest, weakest child in Africa can find out what it is like in the arctic, or the historic roles of their forefathers, and, even more important... the urge to be free and have liberty and an open press becomes a very vital thing in peoples lives when they have the net and want to be able to sate any curiosity. These ideas can usually be seen as intellectual ideals that have little to do with our day to day, but on the net we see graphically how china and other countries censor the net.

The one world consciousness is being created in this grand conversation. This is why I feel like even my life is less important than the words that I insert into the future. I was raised to give my all for the working man, to have loyalty first with my family and friends, and then law enforcement, gov.... I would never be a traitor, etc... unless, I, as an individual, decided it was the right thing. I will never let a government have my soul... take blind orders from anyone. I will always question.

I wish I could say that I had a date when the world consciousness would switch to an ethical way of living that is in harmony with nature. My prediction would be three or four generations from now. I hope to live to see a lot of it...

I was awakened this morning by PAIN. The back of course. Man, I take a ton of drugs and still get this shit. They gave me like three new ones this hospital trip, too... making my daily intake over twenty pills a day. I tried a morphine patch, didn't help... now, it is a mix of all sorts of minor shit that works together so I can avoid the trevails of narcotics. I do not want to be addicted to something which you become immune to. THose drugs... the doctor can't give you enough after awhile to end thepain. Been there.. layed in agony for a year dealing with this shit...

MAn, it has been a wild life for me. I have been going over my life extensively lately, as I write this book using my life as the basis and telling the Jesus story. There are so many mystical experiences in my story that I am amazed I ever veered into atheism. I guess I just did not want to examine the obvious.... i WANTED SOMETHING ELSE... I did not want the world to be as it is..

Now, after what I have been through, I am spiritual... in a weird way, though... when I am writing poems for the waking up jesus book... I feel a spirit filling me and go into something of a trance. My hand moves by itself almost (I have been writing mostly by hand due to the computer problems, and have been off and on for a year.

I have been so busy on the waking up ... book, and organizing the new edition of the religious psycho killer that I have barely had time to consider my next project.

I am hoping to take the ridgway book and put it on line, rewritten in clearer, more interesting language. I will credit the original writer of course. I sure have an interesting family. Monks, crusaders, kings... Last winter I began to recieve messages saying my family was the blood of christ, and that I started growing wings at five. At five I did have a mysterious year in a hospital, where I was given chemo and told that two tumors on my back needed removed. These, allegedly, were wings.

I know this sounds completly out there... I am used to seeing things very scientifically. This could have been a disinformation campaign, because I have definatly become a target for various intelligence agencies. Man, knowing someone has snuck in your house while you are gone, bugged your apt... you start to feel like the government really is your enemy.

There is a part of me that feels like if Obama does not win the presidency, that I will forced to take radical action to help straighten out this country. I do not know what I will do... nothing illegal or harmful to others. I will probably leave america.

I would love to go down to venezuala and live... see a socialist government trying to pull it together would be a very interesting book to write. I could sell oil paintings, get my social security, and probably live pretty good. I'll help the activists to get pot legalized.

I wish I could do that here. I think america is too hung up on Puritan values to ever see the truth on some things. Too bad. Pot is a great way to find the spiritual in the mundane. For me, at least. Everyone experiences this differently. I don't recommend kids smoke it, though I know they do. I would not smoke with a teenager, because it is unlawful.

I do not have kids, and may never... though I would love a few, I do see how my lifestyle is hardly fit for young ones. I write all day and would sooner or later get caught up in my work and leave on in the bathtub to drown or something...the headlines would read like and old dragnet script:"Pot head gets stoned and drowns baby."

ANyways, with all the blogs I have going at this point, I still want one where I can just come in and be myself. Mostly, I am writing in character. I have yet to use the characters I invented for the radio show, where I played like eight people plus... even Johnny Pain, my serial killer, has kind of been set aside for the Jesus thing.

Since I do nothing but write, I can immerse myself in the book to the point that I think of almost nothing else. This keeps me in the mood of the text, and seeing the world from the perspective that my deity does.

I also have another project I want to get going, and will as soon as M gets her video camera. I know some very cool buddhist meditations that literally trigger visions in your mind. I was astounded by this, and everyone is. The english prof. who introduced me to the basically tibeten buddhist group, responded to my query about what this thing was she was dragging me to with, "You wouldn't believe it if I told you." She was right. I can also hypnotize someone into sleep. A calm, nice sleep. I think this would be a serious boon... and it always works. I will just do it for the hell of it, but hypnotism and words and the idea of casting spells over anothers consciousness are very interesting to me.. if I can spread good will, you know?

Mostly the comedy and drama will be made into movies. I am starting with poetry. I will read the revolutionary poetry in one guise, with a lot of crazy inflections and various voices with a lot of photos and real sets behind me... then I will also be doing the jesus poetry. I will be reading this rather straight forward like Jesus.

This will be interesting to see... how people react. I know most of the people who are reacting to my work are underground. Weird that I would end up being some kind of hero to the underground, who people in tv and hollywood know about, but still I sit here in Chicago with barely enough weed money.

By the way, if you have not checked out independent documentaries, google that thing up and watch some cool films. They have Michael Moore, Jesus Camp, and a hell of a library of radical documentaries. A treasure. M and I watched a dissection of 9 11 last night. There sure are a lot of unanswered questions. Would they do it? I have studied military intelligence, though I do not know the complete history of how people have started wars in the past. I do know that the results of 9 11 was the same as pearl harbor... and was it a set up? Probably. If it happened, those involved should be prosecute. I cannot imagine an operation this top secret will ever come to the surface. For all we know, they killed everyone involved, then killed those who killed them. These are people who will do anything to win. Period.

Winners and losers are the great illusion of this flesh. Everyone is equal.

I saw mancow on channel 32 fox news as I clipped by the station, stopped to listen and found myself wanting to kick his ass again. I started my peace campaign by calling that lying, sold out ass seep. He is exactly the kind of guy who gets strung up for being a traitor in a revolution. I don't advocate doing any violence to him. He is not worth it. Get an education and he is laughable, sophmoric, and ... slightly dangerous. He was throwing out some rumor about ms. obama saying whitey in a speach, which has been proven to just be a made up republican plot.

He was coming out against father pleiger for talking about clinto during church, saying there should be a seperation between church and state. I agree on this as well... however, when one is in the church of a man who is going to be the next president, you can hardly ignore politics. He is such a better man that Mancow that it make me thing eugenics might not have been such a bad idea.

Enough patter, I should get to work. I have two notepads of poetry to put up. My new poetry has toned down some of the apocolyptic stuff that was coming up in the jesus wakes up book. I am ending the book on a note of forgiveness now, as the Jesus sees that the extrodinary situation of his existing makes the crazed reaction of th e intelligence agenceis at least understandable, however absurd, wasteful, and insane.

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