CAUTION..... PLEASE DO NOT EXPOSE YOURSELF TO THIS VILE BIT OF PROSE IF YOU HAVE ANY SENSITIVITY AT ALL. PERIOD. I MEAN, UNLESS YOU CANNOT FEEL MUCH FOR FELLOW HUMANS AT ALL, YOU SHOULD PROBABLY MOVE TO ANOTHER ENTRY... SERIOUSLY. I AM REALLY DISGUSTED WITH MYSELF OVER THIS ONE. remember, this is a fictional character, Johnny Pain (though there is a punk dude who also calls himself johnny pain, and he now adds 'the original,' since I started using it -- I did not know about him until years after a friend suggested this name,because I am in Chronic Pain... which is why this character came to be, to be a bastard who takes out all of his pain on society. So, please, crazy ass holes, do not take this as permission from Jesus to kill a bunch of people. Shunning them will do.
I just heard that Congress has put off national health care again. I am sick of politicians making promises they cannot keep, so I am going to be tracking down these fucking slouches and killing their pets, kids, wives, whatever it takes to make them vote for the rights of the many, over the priveleges of the few. I have tried to abide by my agreement with Obama, that I would hold off the killing until it was absolutly necessary to teach 'whitey' a lesson. I am not a whitey, by the way, but a reddish tan colored brother, with whitish tendencies. I try to suppress my need to dominate other races, but it is hard... so I sublimate this into hating right wing neo-cons, anyone who has ever searched out more than one story on this birther shit and still believes it, and of course anyone -- anyone -- who seriously is considering voting for Sarah -- just call me Adolf The Wolf Killer-- Palin.
The blue dog democrats are going to be red splattered blue bitches when I am done with them. They should just call themselves the sold out, bent over and reamed for cash crowd. They have been bought by higher interests in the insurance cabal, and are good little dogs on a leash. If they were real dogs, I would have some sympathy with them... as it is, this is going to require at least taking a few of their toes, to remind them that I out here ready to hunt their asses down for this shit. I got a license to kill from the CIA, and the government owes me too many favors to list, so I don't have to worry about your damn laws -- I work for higher laws than yours. I mean, I hang out with Jesus Christ you assholes, so I know a thing or two about what the Deity is into. Besides weed and pussy, he has few other interests, really. Just kidding. The dude is deeper than any ocean. And he is so liberal he is afraid he will cause heartattacks all across the Christian world if he told people just what a communist he really is, even though he recognizes that imposing his will on Capatalists is not his way -- he says he will just wait for something he see's in the future that he will only say involves a lot of fire and nooses and basic off with their heads shit. He says he could stop it if he wants, but the neo-cons are giving him no reason to. Not that he hates people just for being rich. Any fool can get rich, he says, and it all depends on what they do from there... and these Congressmen and Senators who are holding back on a basic human rights issue like insurance for the causalties in their fixed game, where the rich stock market asses get bonuses and make money off stock trading that is rigged to benefit Goldman Sachs, to the detremint of everyone else. Jesus says they are basically soulless, which is his way of telling me to take them out, and still appear like the pacifistic pussy he thinks some need to believe in.... he hates war,though... of course this is where we disagree. For a guy like me, being in a war zone is like a kid in a candy shop -- hell, I can kill anybody in a place like Iraq and Afganistan, where somebody driving too close to a road block is enough to light them up. It wasn't too hard to just go around shooting up anybody who looked shady to me (and they all do, you know... not that I have anything against muslims -- they can be good people of the book, but I will kill anyone of any religion, for kicks and profits. I can't help it, come from a family of serial killers.
Proud to say Mom took out her entire kindergarden class, to stop them from telling anyone that she had pee'd her pants. It is cute, now, and we laugh... but she killed more than one person she told about this who laughed for a few decades. Then after she had kids, she realized it was just funny.... especially if you saw a picture of her back then, she was a skinny little thing with big black glasses and buck teeth (she killed dozens over those buck teeth, too). Mom has had extensive plastic surgery since then, mostly because I shot her in the face (hey, my brother shot her first, then my sister, then me... so don't be hating on me), and she looks great now. She tends to date like sixteen year old boys, though she is in her sixties. Dad hates her for cheating, but he likes to watch so much that he hasn't killed her, though occasionally, in the sad let down after he has wacked to mom's little porno show (they make us watch, too, set up chairs and make popcorn... it's nice family fun), Pop will shoot the young guys. Or cut off their genitals, and throw them at mom, asking her if she like it better when it was attached, and shit like that. Mom knows I am a taxidermist, specializing in embryos and fetuses for the pro-life bunch, which they use to taunt women who are getting babies scrapped out (I am pro-abortion, mind you... it is not pro-choice, it is pro abortion. People should understand that yes, they are indeed murderers of babies. They can do it legally, and I cannot stop them, and that is their right, but call it what it is, for God's sake. At least I admit when I murder babies. In fact, I like to think of what I do as Late, Late Term Abortions. IF we could just raise the legal age of abortions to like 45, I think I could clear up this planet). So of course she has me stuff the bigger dicks for dildos. Like I say, she is one classy peice of ass, and deserves the best of everything, even quim dippers.
Ahh... that old leftest dream of killing off all the intellectuals and creating earth loving farmers out of everyone... I hate that fucking thing, but I still cling to the thought that I can kill rightously. Not mass slaughters. That gets messy, cruel, and you lose the respect and will of the common man. I mean, what is with these communists who destroy the common man by creating rich politicians and poor peasents that looks a hell of a lot like the worst of capatilism with fascism thrown in to make it really work good (like Bush said he wanted, to make it easier to shove legislation down our throats, up our assholes, whatever he chose... I guess he got his wish, because he made it legal for himself to anything, including torture and murder.... I must say, that is about the only thing he did that I respect; his choice of people, though... torturing a twelve year old kid for six years is kind of over-kill, you know... twelve year olds, in the laws in this country, get very special treatment, because we realize they are usually too young to realize the gravity of doing a crime, and most often can be easily placed back on the conveyor belt into te machine that stamps us into goody-goody citizens).
Guess I should add, so the FBI doesn't get their panties all in a bunch over my lack of plausible denial (they could give a shit about my kill count, since they basically look at it as practice for the guys and gals and chipmonks that I hunt down for them (the chipmunk bit the head of the FBI one morning as he was on his way into work, and they hunted that damn thing for a week, using plastic explosives, bazookas, and finally, surface to air missiles. The squirrel just proved smarter than them. They called me in and I used my magical ability to talk to animals (thank you again Jesus... I won this ability off of him in a Poker gamer, after he got too drunk to do anything miraculous and make it actually work out right... he gets wasted sometimes and makes changes in reality that he regrests afterwards. Like after he saw Brittany Spears quim on line, and decided, on a head full of a couple barrels of mushrooms, that two pussies would be better than one. That led to a lot of problems that he made most humans forget, but I can say that at least one of the quims was on the rag all of the time, and that grossed out a lot of guys... of course it didn't bother Jesus, he is one of those, Oh what the hell, it's better than beating off... kind of guys. A lot of us were bitching at him, too. The logistics of getting all four of those holes filled in wild orgies has caused a lot serious injuries. Twenty Seven porn stars have actually died. Not only were men breaking their necks, and suffering from serious sexual confusion from fucking around all those male dicks, but it turns out getting all that sperm shot into the different holes at once somehow shot the spunk directly into their brains, which is not supposed to happen, and basically drove them mad, because all the little sperms were gestating in their gray matter, growing little half-formed, baby lumps that destroyed who they were, and recreated them into constantly lactating lionesses types, who wore massive protective headgear, and, for some reason, covered their ears with small diapers. I do not know how they got soiled, but they sure did...
Anyways, that Jesus is something else. He also feels a lot guilt over the fact that God has sent him back to earth to set off the apocolypse. He is basically a bomb, that is going to be set off by the Big Guy, at a time, as Matthew said, that not even Jesus will know. He hates his father for this, says it is just him being all powermad and mysterious. Like he said, "Everyone is going to die. He sent me here to kill everyone. That is not good parenting."
I disagree with him of course, explain that he is going to be the greatest mass murderer in the history of mankind.... He gave me a second asshole for a few minutes after I said this, and of course it was blowing out a steady stream of thick, gravy like poo filled with chunks of glass. He prefers to think of himself as releasing souls, which makes him kind of like all those cult fucks. That is what Jim Jones said, man. I was afraid to say anything by then, except for, "Hey, Jesus, how about getting rid of this asshole and cleaning up this shit?" He got rid of the asshole and left the fart splatters and the brown rivers flow. He says he is all about forgiveness, after he smites you and he wants you to forgive him. Oh, well. He has to take me to heaven no matter what I do, because he lost a bet about who wrote most of the Rolling Stones Songs. He had met Brian Jones in heaven, and he was all about saying he was the stones, and really wrote all the songs, etc. Jesus, the sucker, just believed him. Mick came through for me with eternal life. I mean, I love that band so much... various lives have been saved in fact, when I found my targets wearing Rolling Stones T-shirts and shits.
Man, I am talking about Jesus a lot in this entry. Shit, that gives me something in commen with JIm Baker and I always said, if that ever happens, one of us is going to die... consider there one less prison bitch in this world (nothing against them prison bitches -- I love to hire them fresh out prison for threesomes, because they are usually passive enough to let my special near doctor sew them up into Siamese twins, like I have come to expect from good loving. And of course they are stretched out enough to handle Big John.... well, thats more than enough about my silly fetish. At least I am not some goddamn pervert who rapes little boys. I will kill them, sure, if I have to (the little fuckers are sometimes in the house when I get lazy and just blow their asses up with surface to air missiles).
Well, all this talk about killing has my blood lust up. There are still a lot of out of shape, slobbish women down at the beach wearing too little... way too little.... and they are messing with my damn bickini count. I mean, just when I am getting hard wood watching some dainty little ass... there they are. I understand women getting overweight, that is fine... but please, cover that shit up on the beach. No one wants to see it. Do they ever even wonder why their hubbies always turn the lights off, unless they happen to be blind drunk? Any women can turn into a fine peice of ass with a little work. I say why not? Well, and that means I am going to snipe a few of them. I will probably spread a little of their blood, by way of a head shot aimed just right, onto hotties who are setting around them, so they will jump around in those bikini's in ways that show me enough to pop a wad right there. This has become a yearly ritual by the way... hell, not yearly... I had to cull that herd of cows eight times last summer before they got it.
I sound like such an asshole, but ladies, really, I am a sensitve, intellectual killer with a very refined taste in who I kill (unless, admittedly, I am really annoyed and just feel like shooting whoever I come across first).
Oh, well... someone had to say it.