the faulted one crips on....

I am so sick of the Waking Up Jesus blog and book. Writing in the voice a deity, requires me to rationalize all of my behavior into some symbolic show... a performance. I am very good at taking someting that has happened and giving it a context, though this a trick that requires running fast and loose with the truth.

These religious people who instill in themselves and others absolute convictions are completly beyond me. I guess this is good, because you have to question everything in this forest of lies and half truths and spin doctors and all the petty agendas of all the not so petty people. I wanted that book to tell too many stories at once.

I wanted to talk about the debacle my life in the arts has been; simply trying to stay true to doing art for the sake of art, and not money, might seem simple to some but it becomes increasingly complex on an empty stomach. I guess never having had to really make a living at the arts has helped. Not that I make a living. I make about a half a living. What can you do? I think I will always be the brokest person I know on some levels. I am gambling on a game that does not always pay off... and by my own rules.

I am not trying to reinvent the wheel anymore. I drive effortlessly on the wheels that I have.

I tried to write comedy the other day just to see what would happen, and came up with probably what will be the last ever bogging bush. Who knows? I am so ready to get back to writing about issues more abstract and universal than local political issues; ready to be the one who sets a few thoughts rolling in the minds of people who can use them better than I ever have.

I knoq rhw pettiness of people. THey will like you and turn on you on a dime. Usually, without even bothering to make sure that their assumptions about you are correct. Especially in the city, where there is always some person to hang out with, should one choose. I never do, for reasons harder to explain than that I am a loner, because in most ways I am not, I just like to be able to think about whatever I want, and this is difficult when trying to hold up a conversation.

The comedy story brought me no mirth at all while I was writing it. That was weird. Happens.

I did not meet my deadline for having the new editions of the books up, but I did make great strides toward at least having them done for CHristmas. I had slapped together the blogged writing from waking up jesus and the elves attic, telling an almost insiders tale, and then had to go back and make sure that people who were not as famaliar with the tale realized where I was coming from. Telling a story in poetry in what is more a mental landscape than a physical one, is difficult. There is not one to move through space when one is trying to capture a dramatic, possibly fradulent, spiritual experience of the most violent sort.

I am back to feeling like the topic is too diseased to talk much about. I will always criticize the excesses of religion, and the hypocrisy and their use by political forces, yet I understand better now why people believe the crazy shit that they do.

Writers like me are to blame, some. I mean, I deal with the issue of violence and anger and being a primal beast in jeans and tennis shoes trying to pretend otherwise, ny writing violent comedy. People think I am a serial killer. I write about spiritual matters, people think I want to start a cult. I write about a revolution of values, people I think I want them to start shooting at each other... I write that I want peace, and people are ready to abondan the Iraqi people to what would have probably been a dire fate... I say you really do need war sometimes, and you think I want armies raging about the globe making everyone share my values (or yourse, more likely).

There is almost no winning without being able to fully explain what seems too obvious to even write.... part of the reason so much of my comedy is self-effacing is because I know the trap of taking my one little life too damn seriously. I still get my leg caught in this bear trap daily, but I at least notice it is the trap that is doing it, not god or some chemical in my head or another person or poverty or whatever. There is always someone worse off... and all that.

I have spent about all of the mental energy that I can on trying to decipher my present circumstances with the government, and indeed my public... I have to just move on with my life as if nothing happened. This is pretty serious to the people who are still involved in my monitoring, and to address you spies directly, let me just say that I have no further political plans what-so-ever. I want to support my issues, write my comedy, give readings, sell my books and go on with my life.

If you consider my damn books so dangerous, then you should allow me to talk to people so I can quell that nonsense. I do not want people using my words for their nefarious myths anymore. Unless the entire world is ready to believe in some figure like Jesus, he can only in the end be divisive in my work. I would rather seek some kind os consensus. They matter much more to me than the differences. At the same time, there is no removing my hatred for in-justics, etc... or my view that no one is to blame for this shit.

Since childhood, I have always thought that most criminals had a reason to be criminals. Bad breaks, genes, genies... whatever. A very psychological view of the matter. Now I am prone to add a lot of economics and lack of education to the equation. Mostly though, people just need a few more good options. If there is a golden ring, most will reach for it.

This is why I keep coming back to the idea of forgiving everyone, even though I can't seem to achieve this in my gut, it fits my head most of the time. Sure, I have thoughts otherwise, the same petty impulses for vengence that are natural, but I would rather just move on... hope the path is easier on up ahead.

Oh, well... this has just been a ramble about my interior monolouge for the last few weeks. Sorry to bore ya.

Another One Of Those F*king drunken calls from president w.

Bush called me in the middle of the night. Around three am. He was out of weed and had flown air force one in to mooch some weed off of me. This is why everyone around here calls him Bogging Bush (secretly we mean that he stole those elections, but there is no bringing this up to him with his penchant for having his 'posse' beat people to, like he loves to say, 'pissin and twitchin'.

Anyways, he was all liquored up. They broke the door down, came in and did a fucking sweep with m16's and shit. He knows I have no weapons and has been bumming weed off of me forever (as a liberal green, I am an odd choice, but he just happened to be in Chicago one time and hopped in my cab, with three guys with guns, and ordered me to score him some weed. He tried to pretend he was not the president, but we were followed by four suv's and I know what he looks like. Whatever. He told me his name was Jorge (the Spanish pronunciation of George), and thought it was such a good joke to pronounce the sound 'whore hey' that he did so, over and over, always chuckling afterwards... the secret service agents chuckled at first, then stopped as he went on... until he got all pissed and ordered them to laugh when he told the joke. He was serious, too. Said something about the 'little nukie' he was keeping in his briefcase and how God told him to come to Heaven anytime he wanted, and he was just waiting for an excuse.

I sort of overheard this and all this other stuff... turns out, the real reason we went into Iraq is because Saddam once stole one of Bush's mistresses, who happened to have been a llama specially trained in the sexual art's by some obscure monastery in India that has been around for thousands and thousands of years, though no one talks about it because all these rich guys are into it and they don't want anyone to know... but if you know the right code to get into their 'llama lover' sites, which Bush got drunk and gave me, you are either going to puke or find yourself down at zoo everyday, watching and lusting, watching and lusting... until you are caught for the second time masturbating... I'm just saying, this could happen. Well, that is enough about llama love.

All I had was some shag weed around so Bush had his secret service guys beat the shit out of my kitten, Dash. I thought this was a little harsh, of course, and told him as much. He was just drunk enough to get all blubbery about it, and next thing I knew he was flying in some vet/ for the cat.. then he got to thinking about all the cats dying down at the pound, and next thing I fucking know he has the place broken into by these guys in black helicopters... he lets all the cats free, then gets it in his head that the dogs should be free too... of course he let loose all these mean ass pitbulls and shit that immediately started killing all the cats. Then one of the dogs went for one of the guys in black and they all started shooting the dogs... then, for some reason, they started shooting the cats, too. I was screaming at them to stop and shit. Typical Bogging Bush shit.

Then he got the munchies, right in the middle of this bedlam, and pats his stomach and says, "Okay, got to get some vittles ... that weed made me need... tacos, and burgers, man. Shit, let's take over a McDonald's and cook weird shit ... like Big Mac's with Quarter ponders on em. Fuck, yeah."

I had been through this before, watching them scare the hell out of some high school kids, usually Bush had at least one beaten to, quote, "Make sure you kids know that you better fucking not even think about spitting on my presidential food." Bush had a thing about finding spit in his food, because he was such an asshole and he had never cooked his own food in his entire life and people were always, indeed, spitting on it.

He forced me to come. Then he starts showing me this notebook where he is working on 'a plan to stay presidenting.' I told him that I thought eight years was the limit?
"Yea," he told me,"It is for them pussies. I ain't moving. I like the place. Someone else can do the paperwork, hell... but I have grown fond of that house, and what the hell... I got me a private army all set up to sweep into Washington and pull a coup and shit. I make myself King, see, then they can have their little president, but I will be over him. And King is for life, man... I read that in a Time magazine. For life. I deserve it, man. I got the experience, I'm still young enough to chase interns... heee, heeee, heee...Mostly though, the dog likes the place. And I got my coloring room all set up how I like it, man... how the hell can they even ask me to move? They asking you to move because they got a new president? No. It ain't fucking fair That's why I'll get Blackwater to even things out. We're just taking out the congress and the senate, replacing them with the women from the View. That way, things will be fair and all. I'll be King, and them women can tell me what to do. That way, there's a mistake, I blame it on them. I got this all figured out, man. I can't believe that fucker Clinton didn't try this... oh, yea, he thought he could turn the president thing into a rock star thing, and catch up on all the tail he missed when he in the White House trying to keep it out of... well, he just put it in their mouths. I guess the cigar got a little bit... hee, hee, hee. I love that Monica Lewinsky. I did her and her mom and their maid."
"At gunpoint?"
"No woman has a headache at gunpoint, boy. I told you that before. Nah, I didn't do that. The wife... she'd cut one of my balls off, for sure. I can't keep secrets, not the way I drink. That's why she almost left me back when I was fooling around. I'd be bragging on snagging some poontang and then realize, shit, this is my wife... I shouldn't be doing this. But you know me, that never stopped me from doing anything. Yea, fooling around... hell, at my age, I prefer coloring. Or coke and Viagra and llamas. You ain't gonna see no llama getting interviewed on hard copy."
"No. Has anyone ever tried to write about the whole llama thing?"
"Oh, the Masons have an underground, nuke proof vault filled with millions of books on llama love. Anybody who is anyone gets the llama daily. You're a peasant, so you are let in on shit like that. Like time travel and aliens and crap. You just don't get to know, because we happen to like it that way. Always got something on you. You poor people might be smart, or good at... fixing ... oh, I don't know... fixin ... stuff, yea, stuff... but you would be killed, flat out disappear, along with your 100 closest relatives and friends, at least, if you were to even whisper about this conversation in your sleep. Everything is bugged, and especially you, because if you got kind bud, I am flying in for a few bongs ... can't smoke the stuff at the White House. Mom caught me. Shit, I told her it was tobacco, but she knew better. Spanked me for the first time in months, man, and no matter how old you are, that shit hurts. She puts on her leathers and gets out her whips man. I hate it.... shit, the welts."

"Fuck you smoked all my weed, Bogger."
I should not have said this. He made some hand motion to the secret service guys and they just tossed my ass out of the limo. I forget that he considers peasants without weed worthless weight.

Man, I sure hope they find some way to get him out of the white house without killing his dog. Maybe he wasn't serious?


Just as I was finishing this, he called me and said to forget everything he said last night, that being at the White House having people 'up in his business' all the time was too much, and he was leaving. "Man, I decided, last night, to just take over Mexico. I can smoke all the fucking weed I want down there, man. Buy the local law first, then just take over the country. They love me down there. Love me everywhere, they tell me. Cheney was just saying I am the most loved president in the world. Man, it's good to be the most blessed man on the planet. And that's from Pat Robertson, so you know it's true. You score anymore weed yet?"
"No."

"Don't be calling me like this without weed, man."

the books....

I have mostly been working on waking up jesus. I was going to leave the more revolutionary poetry out, for another project, then decided that since they were all bound together in a way, that I needed to add them to the manuscript. Damn, these books are getting too big...

me, myself, and my thighs

Ugh... I realized something today -- if you become the least bit of a public figure, even to the point of just blogging and writing my little books and the radio show... you are going to have critics.

As a critic of some things myself, I can see how easy it is to criticize. Especially if you take people's words out of context, etc...

I hate to hear or see myself perform, though in certain moods I like to read my writing. So, I am never going to read criticisms of my work unless they are from trusted friends, or critics who I can genuinely respect. If Don Delillo ever comes out and says I should have done this or that, You can bet I will be taking notes and mulling over his every word.

I am way too sensitive. I hate that I am like this. I would rather be just some guy who writes than a famous person, barring the financial benefits, which anyone in their right mind would prefer to my near poverty. I have been recognized a few times in public, and I find it kind of creepy. I mean, people have no idea who I am from reading my work. You think you do, though... I make the same mistake with other writers.

I have been writing mostly in the waking up jesus blog, but I am getting sick of it. The whole Jesus thing is annoying in a way. I had to write something about the mystical experiences that I had, but the poetry on the topic has kind of went from inspiring to bitching. I guess the tale has run its course. My little bible is done.

I am anxious to shed the entire religious persona, and go back to my usual agnostic view.... though I believe in god, I am no closer to knowing how to worship than I was when I was an atheist. Odd, this world of ours. Odd...

In his 1776 revolutionary pamphlet, Common Sense, Thomas Paine famously declared that "so far as we approve of monarchy, the law is King." But the Robert Litts and Cass Sunsteins and David Broders have radically re-written that principle so that, now, "trans-partisan harmony is King," which means, in turn, that the President -- whose crimes should no longer be prosecuted due to fear of sowing "divisiveness" -- resides above the rule of law, and thus possesses one of the defining traits of a King.


From Salon, Greewald's article Post Partisan Harmony Vs. The Rule OF Law. Here is another article from Salon that deserves a larger audience, and needs to be discussed earnestly. Should Obama prosecute the Bushe administration for their lawlessness? In the article, he writes that Bush's first Executive Order, was to stop documents that Republican's were requesting to go after Clinton. As I have made clear for years, I do not think that going after Bush will do any good while he is in office, and to go after him afterwards is to ignore the thousands of others who went along with him, propped up his doctrines... They say Bush is going to put in a blanket amnesty for everyone involved in torture.

How do I feel about all of this? Well, the presidency is sacred, but only when it is following the law. As the above Paine quote clearly shows, Law is above man. No man is above the law. God may set all this straight in the here-after, but here and now...

I used to have such hatred for the Bush's. I don't hate them anymore. I hate some of their behavior, but that's it. In fact, I am not angry with anyone today, for some odd reason.... still, if we do not open this sad little can of worms, we will once more be leaving the masks on a monster. No president should be above the law, and especially when it comes to harrassing their own citizens... meaning, peace activists like myself... though what they did to me, was nothing compared to what others have reported to me. Do I think Bush should go to jail for this? I am always more of the 'confess it all' and get immunity. Hiding all of your misdeeds, and not getting prosecuted, that is the problem.

We must take power back into the hands of the people now. There is no time for another Oil Company loving president; there is also no time to get the laws straightened out, because soon we will all be watched all the time. The day is coming when privacy is gone. I see the technology, and have been investigated enough to realize how clever and a-moral the powers that be are. Those in power should live as an embodiment of the law.... yet, the machaveillian mindset continues, where in he wrote that it does not matter what a prince does, though it does matter what people think they do.

We have prosecuted soldiers for being on the lowest spot on the totem pole of torture, for being the ones who were ordered to act in ways that will haunt some of them for the rest of their lives, while those behind these actions go back to their rich little lives. Ain't that america?

Toss Lieberman to the dogs;... like he did us.

Lieberman is one of those traitors we all see. The opportunists. He is a democat from a liberal state, yet he is known to be very republican in his thinking. He would have licked anyone's balls to get a little more power. Look at that fuck. Now, if he had been given more power, which is what a republican president would have done, he would have turned all the more from his constituents. McCain wanted him as his running mate...



I hear Reid supports him, and I believe Reid is the real thing, as I do about Pelosi, I have seen them both fighting to keep the country from being totally destroyed by the Bush Doctrine, and all those who try to blame the economy and shit on the do nothing congress should thank god they were do nothing, or more properly, objecting to Bush's policies, or they would have privatized social security... right before the economic collapse.

I think there should be a move to get him as marginalized as possible in government. He simply cannot be trusted to do anything the majority of his constituents want. He is even now meeting with the Republicans to see how he can help them fight Obama and the changes that this country needs. Show him for what he is -- a liar. I mean, who isn't a liar... but I can tell you this, few people run as one party, then start going with the other party in the ways that matter. This is called being a traitor where I come from.

Lieberman wants to be a republican. Let him go back and run as a republican and lose in the liberal state he is from. Period. Put a bunch of money into showing how the time of the Democrat is now, and that he has proved nothing but a shiftless, amoral, power seeker.

After writing this, I came across an srticle in Salon, which spells out all of Lieberman's lies, half-truths, and betrayels. I can see why Obama does not want to start a war with someone who, Takes it both ways... though you can bet, he prefers to just lay back and get those big juicy republican dicks slamming into his asshole (in fact, I have heard that he has had additional assholes added to various parts of his body so he can serve more republicans at once...

I am not going to go over the entire list of problems I have with this man. I would rather someone was a republican, which is understandable in this world where so many so called experts and news shows are involved in a dark propoganda ploy to convince the middle class that their enemies are their freinds. There is nothing stupider than a person who makes under a quarter million a year voting republican. This is kind of like a slave defending their master.

I know OBAMA wants to stop the red and blue divide. Me too. As a painter, I know that these two colors blend into purple, and this is part of why I pulled the King shit out of my closet and started harping on it for awhile, even though I grew up hating the idea of kings... and still do. No one person should be in charge of a town, let alone a country. No one ideology should try to shove their agenda down the throats of the whole of america, either... though it has been done. And at this point, the mental landmines left over from the years of neo-cons waging war with the facts to hide their true motives (pump up the oil companies, bring on armeggedon, etc... it is very difficult to tell what is going on in the shadows, but you can bet their are agendas out there that would make a good person vomit, which is why they hide everything...

I think we can all work together, but the differences are stark. One group of folk in this country, who are empowered by money their families lent them, want to keep their large stores of wealth, and the starving masses be damned. The other is just out there trying to get by, barely able to keep up with the major issues in this world, let alone the smaller ones... as chomsky said, sort of, by the time a working person gets home for the night, they are just too damned tired to waste all of their mental energy on politics.

I know the feeling well. I do not want to think in bINARY terms -- the old world as two sides, one good and one evil, is a bunch of crap, of course. Yet, this is how our consciousness organizes new information. A lot of the philosophy of language that I studied was about how to make a mind see more sides than just the two presented to them. Like the scam of democrats and republicans. By keeping the focus on these two, and pretending like 'liberals' are dangerous radicals, we stop the GREEN party from taking root in this country. IF people just understood how much a three party system would open up this society and give voice to the disenfranchised, they might just vote for them. As it is, there is a myth that any party that is outside of the main two are dangerous, either right wing or left wing nuts. A typical american way of looking at the world, that has been drummed into our mind like a soundbite that is repeated until the majority believes it to be the truth.

Right now is not the time for Obama to go out and try to make friends. He has enough freinds without stooping to the level of his ideological enemies. I am not saying that he should be vindicative, but welcoming a traitor back into the fold, a man who even his own constituency does not want (he had to pander to the neocons to get re-elected).

Now I hear this rumour that Lieberman may get to head the Homeland Security Committee. I am so far out of the political loop, in most respects, that you name a politician and I probably know nothing about them. Like I have said for awhile, I felt so alienated by the Reagan years, and truth be told, even the Clinton years... that I just quit bothering to watch politics. Now that I am again, to some extent, I can see that they are all bathing in the cesspool. I hope that Obama is different. We all do. We will see.

He should show us liberals, who gave a lot of effort to get him elected, that he understands there is a legitimate arguement to liberalism that is quite different from socialism .

Now, Lieberman, who supported the president who is bugging over a million of their own citizens, is going to be influential to homeland security? I swear, if Obama turns out to just be another face of the same old beast, I will leave this country, go somewhere like Venezuela, or Cuba. I would love to help a socialist country take off, inspire the people to nationalize the oil and certain key industries, to fund social programs. This is about when America pulls a coup. Like in Chili. Still, I see the brains in this.

I understand, however, that I am in the states, and too few people feel like me to ever get anything like this done. Fine. I do not want to force my beliefs on other people. I am so used to being the odd man out on my opinions, that I am surprised when anyone likes my stuff. Period.

I was going to add the article from salon, here... but instead came across this, Bayh, (whose father I once literally kicked in the but when I was five). He lays out a good arguement about Lieberman. In fact, he pretty much makes sense to me. So, I am adding this element to this piece to show how complex and amoral and pragmatic even the best of politico's can be (and I like BAYH a lot, as I liked his father). So, in this case, no matter how odious Lieberman seems to me, Bayh makes clear that the reasons they are keeping him are complex). Oh, well... Like I always tell people, listen to what others say, then do what you think is right. And if you are proven wrong by a better arguement, then do not feel ashamed to change your mind. The mark of a good mind is being able to adjust to new information. sO, I am probably wrong to think it is good politics to throw this guy out, but I don't care about that shit. I think revenge is one of the most basic rights of a human being.

Why do we put people in prison? Not to save society, but to punish, take revenge. Nietsche laid all of this out in On Human Nature. A book that kept me awake for three days. Lieberman will probably get away with all of his shit, because he has placed himself in a position where he could make trouble of he is attacked. Oh, well... even more than revenge, I believe in redemption. So, let Joe redeem himself, if he can or will. I have been mistaken for a republican again and again, because I support the soldiers, and understand the hellish thought that war is a law unto itself... so who knows, let me be wrong... let all of my criticism be proven wrong. I would love that.


MADDOW: You have been outspoken of Senator Lieberman keeping his role as chair of Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs. Why do you think he's the best Democrat for that job at this point?

BAYH: I don't think this is about Joe Lieberman, Rachel. I think this is about maximizing our chances of making the changes that we need in America, maximizing the chances that President-elect Obama will meet those expectations you referred to by addressing the challenges that we face that you also reported on just a few moments ago. And let me explain to you what I mean. If this was just about Joe Lieberman and the things he said in the campaign, well, I'd say we'll let it go. I mean, if people want to settle scores, fine. I mean, he's a big guy, he can live with the consequences of his actions.

But one of two things will be likely to happen if we were to kick him out of his chairmanship. No. 1, he might very well decide to just resign from the Senate. You know, he probably would not want to be a person without a home, wandering the hallways without any influence of any kind. And Connecticut has a Republican governor, who would appoint a pure Republican to that seat, who would vote against the wishes of the president-elect and the Democratic caucus, you know, the vast, vast majority of the time. That's No. 1.

No. 2, Lieberman, Joe Lieberman might decide to stay and be embittered. And what would happen there would be from time to time, we have close votes. You've been reporting on the Alaska race and the Minnesota race and the Georgia race. We could be at 58, 59, maybe even 60 votes. Every two or three or four months, there's going to be a critically important vote, very close, every vote will count. And it might come down to one vote.

Now, if Senator Lieberman has a strong view, he'll vote his conscience, but if he's conflicted, frankly, you know, doesn't really know what to do, and we've exacted revenge on him, I suspect we could probably expect the same in return. That's really not where we want to go. Let's see if we can move this in a better direction.

And the final thing I'd say is, if he does retain his chairmanship, we still exert oversight over him and control over him. He doesn't have the ability to just do whatever he wants. The caucus still has the right to remove him from that position at any time if he starts going off on some kind of tangent.

So I simply think it maximizes the chances of getting progressive policies a better outcome if we have a Joe Lieberman, who is a little reticent, who apologizes for the things that he said that were way over the line, and instead is trying to do the right thing, instead of an embittered Joe Lieberman or a Republican replacement who will not be with us any of the time.

chocolate news dis's the House Of Pain...

David Allen Grier is funny. Smart. Whatever. His show is among the best I have seen. As I watched the other night, he did a thing on WIGGERS. And among the list of wiggers, he put The House Of PAin. At first, when I started my little campaign for peace -- true, world wide peace -- I did not expect anyone to really notice. When they did, I was immediatly slapped into some kind of bubble, where intelligence barely gets to me. I have little idea, to this day, about all of the events that took place as a result of my writing. I tried to document some of that in my book/blog Waking Up Jesus. Certainly, if you read that book, you should understand that I really went through all of that. Some group of people were behind messing with me. They believed that I was much more aware of what was going on around me than I was. Since no one came up to me with the truth, I began to feel like the entire world was my enemy. I knew otherwise from the tv shows, or at least that seemed to be the case...

Anyways, what I am getting at is that I studied under a professor who was big on Black Issues, then I drove cab for ten years in the most segregated city in the country, and experienced racism as much as a white person does, which is very, very little. This madee me aware of the problems in this sphere.

I hate any injustice. In the states, obviously, the native americans, and the blacks, hispanics, etc.... are among sub-cultures (some at least) that are being oppressed by the police, jailed way too often, and a myriad of other facts.

Of course, when I started writing for this campaign, I was having seizures and spending weeks at a time in the hospital, and my back mysteriously got so bad that my medication no longer worked. I also was somehow poisened, to the point that I was puking for a week. All sorts of odd events started when the radio show and my peace campaign converged.

I had no idea at that point that I was under suspicion of being a dangerous radical. I suppose if you read my writing wrong, you would find a lot of shit in there to make you think I am mad. Well, I prefer to keep the madness in the writing, not my life. i WRITE ABOUT HORRIFIC murders and such in a comedic manner, to deal with the issues. I am sad as hell at any murder, for everyone involved. I used to always wonder how to even get people to read issue oriented stories. I decided that the writing just had to very, very good. Then, later, I realized that I could talk about anything if it was in the context of humor. When people are laughing, they can deal with the horror of the subject matter.

As far as how this made me 'acting' like I was black, I do not know. I do care about perceptions, however. And I have a lot in my life to make clear to people at this point, because I performed for an audience that took me way too seriously for a prisoner, underestimating that everything I said was touched by the horrible anger of having my life become a bizarro realm.

For one, I am against injustice. I am color blind, and not. I expect everyone to be civil, and when they are not, that is their problem, not mine. I don't make any preconceptions, other than expecting civility. This is why I always say hello to anyone when I am walking my dog, or puttering about my neighborhood by the beach. This is not a packed neighborhood You come across someone, usually there is only you two on an empty residential street. I don't try to do this downtown, obviously.

All of this add's up to, I do not know what was done by The House Of Pain. For me, the house of pain was the outgrowth of being someone who is in chronic pain. Some people thought I wanted them to emulate me. That was not my purpose. I am uncomfortable with that thought. I wanted people to just say Hello to each other, and finally, start taking all the problems in this world seriously, instead of continuing down our blind path where even such horrendous difficulties like the green house effect were being ignored to placate the oil companies. In this process, the name Thomas Paine become associated with my campaign, and of course I encouraged that because he was a truly wise man, who died in drunken poverty after being one of the men who wrote the words that inspired the american revolution, because he did not want any slavery in the States. His writing about common sense was one of the first times that I noticed during my campaign that a tv show was responding to my blog, when Book Tv came on with a guy reading common sense, and I wrote in my blog, I do not believe in common sense. THe guy looked at a screen, where he could see my words, and said, Well, this is not very encouraging." I wrote back, "Convince me." He went on to read this passage in the guise of THomas Paine... when he was done, I wrote, "I am convinced. THis is a show that should run forever."

This was all taken wrong. But, you know, if Thomas Paine is a wigger because his heart was broken was his visions were used to enslave others... but he wasn't. He was a man like me, who knew deep and true that enslaving anyone was wrong. Period.

I understand white kids who emulate their favorite stars, or hang out with black people all the time who speak in Black English, and become ensconced in the culture. Why wouldn't they? When whites act black, people make fun of them. Yet, when Blacks act like whites, they get promoted. This is an interesting point. Even blacks make fun of people who choose their culture over their own. This is kind of sad.

So, if the wiggers out there choose the black culture, I think blacks should be pleased that they have had an influence on the over all conversation about what a human being is going to be. And don't kid yourself, that world wide one culture will happen... if we do not blow ourselves up.

I wanted to make sure that by the end of my campaign, blacks, gays, hispanics, native americans, muslims, womyn, etc... got a seat at the round table where they were spoke of as equals. We throw all of the problems into the middle of the table, then take them and fix them as our own. If every nation did this, we could all a long way toward spreading good will for all cultures across this world.

Get the arabs and the jews to put all of their problems on the table, and make the arabs solve the jews problems, and visa-versa. Now, that would be interesting.


Anyways, thank you for mentioning the House Of Pain, Mr. Grier. All I ever hear about the events now, is the occasional jab at me. I am not sure why this is?

Like I have said before, I do not know that much about what my words inspired. This was a serious mistake on the part of homeland security or whoever the hell it was that decided I was a dangerous radical. If I had been told the depth of this shit, I could have actually been a force of good for all. I tried to just get everyone to forgive each other, and go on from there. I was criticized for this. Called a chicken on Family Guy. Then I wrote something about attacking, taking no prisoners...

And since I was cut off, and out of the loop, I had no idea what people were doing with my words... so I just continued the act, trying to make sure that all I knew was passed on. I am passionate about getting across the ideas of certain great thinkers. I am not one. I am smart enough to recognize the few who truly are. I should say educated... it has nothing to do with how smart you are, it has to do with how ignorant you are.

I have spent weeks depressed, just laying in bed going over the events of the last 22 months, hating all of mankind in a way for treating me like this. I have always been a serious person with a streak of absurdity. The comic side of me is buried away now. I can bring it out, always could on the radio show, and it will be back one day... until this election is over, I am stuck thinking about it too much.
How anyone could think I would want any of this... I do not want to inspire people to go to war, though I do not want people to passively stand by while predators have their ways with others. And I do not see the same boundaries of our country that others do. I still believe in the possibly assinine thought of manifest destiny. Why not? We should be inspiring, reaching out to the downtrodden; the us is filled with people who will race to help others. We have just needed the means. And while the neo cons went about their little campaigns and ignored most of the people in the country, there was little means.

The country may change a lot with an Obama Presidency. More white kids than ever will be showing up with all the right hand shakes at snoop dogg concerts... why not? Let those who love your culture revel in it. People do this naturally, by the way.... pick up southern accents and mannerisms, or new york, or the bronx.... just happens naturally.

I do not act black. I act like an indiana boy, a scholar and a gentleman is a phrase that was applied to me a lot. Most people just think I am a mellow guy who occasionally will not shut up. When I grow long hair, I get a whole other reaction from people. I get a little prejudice. Nothing like a black man gets in Chicago. Just more than I usually get. People then think I am a hippie.


People will always label one another, and our culture is the result of bits of other cultures that have somehow survived into the twenty first century. It would be a shame if black culture were to be subsumed as the world comes together on the interent. I do not see this happening.

I suppose with my comments about whites... people thought I was a race traitor or something. No, I was just making jokes, trying to even the score just a little bit. Make the racist scared if I had to. My favorite people I have met in this life have mostly been catholics, jews, and blacks. Growing up, I knew people of all walks of life, except blacks and jews. I had never met any. When I did, after being raised by a union president mother in a very progressive mind set, I was prepared for freindship, and that is what I got.

Oh, well. I am not pissed over this. It just puzzles me. Makes me wonder if I am hated or what out there. It sure would be nice to know who is on my side, and who is against me. I wonder now if they are going to make sure I never gain popularity? I do not care. I will write no matter what.



Is Nietsche is a nazi because his sister promoted him as one, and hid the writing that would have proven otherwise... b