hollywood -- where the ugliest old fucks get hot women...

You ever noticed this?  Hugh Hefner, old ugly fuck, all around bag of std's, ends up with four hot blonds.  The whole Playboy thing started in Chicago, in a nondescript building just off the famous Miracle Mile shopping district.  I suspect part of why he had to move to LA was because he could not quite find the proper level of Bimbo that he needed for his particular foray into creating a new way of living/or an old style.
The whole 'drug party with orgy' house scene would not have gained a legendary status in Chicago -- he would have had to stay underground.    In LA, where the nations morals are created by the predominate controlling method used on the masses,  they worship a dirty old man. . .   and now he has a tv show where the Blondest of Bimbos all bray like donkeys about how much they love living the party life.  Everyone of morals has to kind of look at this and see a lot of pitfalls, though no straight guy can say that they do not envy Hugh Hefner.  Hands down.  He has basically created the Muslim view of heaven.  He actually tops them, having laid well, well over just 72 women...  he lives in a Mansion with a grotto and most famous people and rock stars are dying to come to one of his parties.   There is a lot there to worship in a cultural icon.

 He  lives by the adage that all men would live like he does if they had a choice, and the guests to his castle all seem to agree.  They fuck those bunnies and drop those drugs like pros.  Hefner.  Remember when he got married?  Just before Viagra came out and set him free to be a slut again.  I was a slut just after high school. Sex was a banquet, the easy way to feel good, and almost endlessly accessible....  what a trip love became in my empty life.  I was finally accepted by another person I cared about, something that did not come easy in my family, where my eldest brother had brought a certain violence into our home life.    The only way I learned to say no to sex was to get married.   Having no money or power most of my life, I always got lovers by being handsome and easy going and bright.  I am glad that is who they wanted, and not my wallet or car.  We shared love and lust, not bank accounts.  That was enough for them... though a lot of women considered me marriageable for this reason or that, but I didn't end up with them and there were plenty of fish in sea, so what the fuck.

Women were always falling more in love with me than I somehow could get with them.  I wanted to be madly in love with them and beyond falling for another woman...  when it didn't happen, I was possibly more disappointed than they were.  If not at the time, now, as I play back the gallery of faces, the truly incredible people who were my lovers, I miss them all and regret the messy endings involved in being a slut...  or in love with someone else.  During fifteen years, I was in an open relationship, which was never going to end in marriage, really... that was never the point, and neither of us expected it, though of course at times we both wanted it.   Anyways...  I was always trying to fall in love with someone else.  Couldn't... not until she finally called it off and married someone else.  I did not become a famous writer soon enough for her.  Interesting that my break out came only after I quit the fifteen year oddessey through college that kept me feeling forever like a student and never an expert, just a sponge waiting for the saturation point that would finally start spewing out the inevitable tears of existence...


Back to those ugly old hollywood fucks.  There is a shameless class of women that think money makes up for any loss in giving a shit about being turned on by their lovers body.  A shameless decision that comes from a certain calculating type.   They get to meet movie stars, live like a queen.  Not such a bad gig  --  the actual stated goal on the resume of a grotesque number of  hot, young Hong Kong prostitutes.

What should I care about such things?  Not really my business, I suppose... except as a religious voice, as the preacher, which I sometimes allow to write in here...  a personality instilled in me by the sight of a preacher demanding everyone's respect for his words, whether they necessarily deserved them or not... in my opinion at the time, he was paid to prop up a bunch of stupid, mythical lies about a mysterious deity.


One of these lies, for some, is marriage.  Lot's of people believe in marriage who should not, obviously, since we have a 50% divorce rate.   One of two people we buy presents for, take them and run after that marriage.  Oh, well.  Our culture demands that we believe in certain myths.

Marriage is something all kids believe in, and nature instilled us a few instincts meant just for the young ones, like seratonan  (however it is spelled) bursts when we see a babies face, which most species seem to have, as we see that all sorts of species will raise babies from another's -- including us, of course.

Hefner is no breeder as society see's him.... she had this one mom, then a revolving door of other's at her dad's...  as a child, she could probably not tell them apart -- they all spoke the same speak, and smelled slightly of stale cum...

What can I say about a man who chooses to sleep with young women?  Is he somehow evil for trying to spread his view of life to others?  Playboy attempted to define a lifestyle --  though I suspect I was not alone in thinking they sucked as whack rag, and while they did do some interviews I liked, they were mostly filled with articles I didn't read... to be honest, give me a penthouse any day.   The drugs and sex habits of the sixties and seventies and eighties, the sex clubs that thrived before aids put the cabash on free-love with most...  there are the hardcore elements who will not be swayed by mere threat of death from enjoying life.

Hefner makes fame and wealth look like the Muslim version of heaven (minus that nasty virginity clause ---  I mean, do you know how much those satin sheets at the Playboy mansion costs?  They have little signs by the bed that say 'please don't bleed while you breed,' which is meant for women on the rag, but certainly would cover virgins as well).

The USA, secular as we have become, have had to find a new way of attaining glory.  Heaven was out as a serious contender when Hef showed us Heaven on earth, mocking the old Buddhist adage that life is pain, which our good lord shows me literally every day with my back...  let alone on the news of the day.


The first lie we as humans accept, is that if we were born into another's life, that we would someone act differently.  They would be the exception to the rule.   This is how they condemn people.  I have heard lots of young whites mock blacks not having jobs, when I know for a fact all these businesses that would not consider hiring a black person and the only reasons is prejudice.  Whites do not get this, and they get more jobs.  This leaves a lot of blacks in a situation where they have to seek alternative means of surviving, along the lines of welfare and drugs, which they are always blasted for by prejudiced whites who make it out like they should blame the victim.  We slam the scientiologists for believing that people make themselves sick -- like when the old folks among them die, they have failed to act on their religion and stayed healthy... every death is a failure to them  -- Jenna Elfman would not sign something for babies with aids, because she believed that they could easily think their way out of any disease.  This is bizarro, believable only with brainwashing kind of crap.

We are involved in a cultural war.  We are born into it.  Belief is transferable from fact to fiction, a psychic phenomena that we know can be manipulated by cults, the media, movies, tv and radio shows....  belief is mailable   --- the facts are not, much to the chagrin of the professional liars, but no real obstacle to getting what they want. .


A lot of people are surprised by the cultural war.  Simpson the hollywood bimbo, recently said she was no indian giver asking for some 100 grand boat she bought her love of the moment,  and the Native Americans called her out.  She has to issue an apology.  She will learn a lesson out of it -- simply that her fame comes with a few responsibilities -- if they are going to talk on the level on the press, they are going to be taken as saying something they mean, which cannot be easy for some....

Anyways.... fame and wealth.  I am officially against both until I reap the rewards of both....  bring on the sell out man....  My hand is always out for money that has no blood splattered on it...  I am not one to take a fall for anything I fucking say, believe me....


Do I want you to riot?  If you have to....  my hope is that can be avoided.  Do I want the country to discover spirituality?  Yes, but the veil of percieved Christianity has to be lifted before that is going to happen.  Reincarnation is real, and you can find out as much by going through some hypnosis and shit.  Amazing games are possible in our minds, as I was taught by an unconventional Tibetan Buddhist Monk.   There is more to spirituality than sitting in a church singing, and listening to the message of the man.

Do I think the worship of fame and wealth is going to change by eliminating the hugh hefner's?  Well. Saudi Arabia is putting to death Wizards who claim psychic power for using Black Magic.  I think these people are mostly using bad taste to pretend they are psychic, when by no known test have we ever found someone to be psychic on demand, however obvious it is with the slightest research to discover something is happening with ghosts and spirits, and they do exist.  Shit exists that is too wildly out of whack with the way we navigate the world that we simply do not believe in it... and if we do, then all these charlatans start coming into view trying to make money off of our interest.... by lying, and discrediting ghost stories.  I have experienced one that no science is ever going to dispell.  Just one.  It was enough.  I am in the majority, I would think, if you really asked people what they have experienced, not what they choose to believe, you would be amazed by the people with ghost stories.  Like this celebrity thing on tv now showing their stories.  It is rare for all these stars to come out and say this stigmatizing thing about themselves.  And all those faces...  not as easy to dismiss as words on a website.

Let the rich old men buy women.  Let that be what society smiles upon with a tv show.  Let them tell you it is nothing but mindless fun as you dangle the vision of heaven before them --- the same dangling vision that helps drive young men into becoming bomb laden suicide, getting that ticket to heaven at low, low price of one quick moment of pain before your thoughts are blasted blank one last time.  What message does it tell the young minds seeing the advertisements?  This guy would be banned in some countries, even put to death for his magazine -- which is banned by governments as porno.  What do they know that we don't?  Ever asked yourself why they so carefully guard their religion spewed culture?   All of them.  Not just the fanatics.  Like secular jews who go to all the holidays because they like the culture of being jews, all the little perks of being in the club, the retirement homes, business connections, etc... it is there and vital.  A buddy of mine said he was going to la to be a comedian, and the first thing he was going to do was hit the synagogue and see who to talk to.  He was very intent on success, and believed that humor could be explained in a few simple equations.  He could make people laugh with his formula, but he did not try to make them think.  It was a little scary to think these comedians figure out a formula that makes them funny, then slide around the comedy clubs like an insurance salesman with a tired sales pitch...

I still believe that INFORMATION IN FORMATION is the job of the artists.  The Artist Of Culture Itself, of Man Himself... that is what we are, really, those of us who choose to use the media as a weapon, and that means everyone who is going to make a difference in the world (not to mention those who only wish to appear to be doing so),  politicians and preachers and those like Hugh Hefner, who send out a message that is self-serving, mostly...  rationalizations for their own view point, like fox and The Daly Show, they show us both the evil and the goodish.  The surprise for those of us fighting the good fight, is always that anyone at all would fight against us, because we fight, mostly, against the selfishness of the ruling class, the absolute elitists who are in control of most of the money, and basically allow starvation to have a large portfolio and they do not give a damn about anyone else, or they would probably not have the money in the first place, or indeed the genes of the money maker who made the money back some generations ago....  mostly I think we should have higher taxes because I do not believe that those who have most the money are showing much noblesse oblige.  If the right hundred people were in charge of that money, we could turn this fucking planet around,  This is the secret they do not want you to know, and what drives me crazy.  I was raised hating anyone who was rich and allowed anyone anywhere to starve.  Anywhere,  Period.  I wouldn't have.  Recently Sarah Silverman, who I have the hots for and thank you for giving me your phone number and I regret that my phone, oddly enough, was not able to reach out of state numbers at that time... a courtesy brought to you by Homeland Security.... she echoed something that I have said all along, the Catholic Church should divest of their excess wealth.  They should be selling their fucking Gold.  Every time I see a Church is saying they are bancrupt and can't pay molestation victims, I tell them to melt down one of those gold fucking crowns they have...  the ones in the forms of Crosses.   That is how they use the cross in the vatican, like a goddamn crown.   Silverman said the vatican should melt the gold and feed the poor.  Something I have been thinking since I heard how much wealth they had.

I make certain people uncomfortable with the way I write about wealth.  Once I pissed off the poetry crowd in toledo ohio so much that the boyfriend of a rich heiress who liked to come to the readings, and his two buddies who also married rich women and went around playing poets their whole lives through without ever having to make a living at anything,  wrote a poem condemning me.  I was shocked by it at the time.  I did not realize that the poem I wrote pissed off people.  It was about being object oriented so much that you take people as objects too.  It was pretty clear in the  poem, I thought ... meaning no one got it but me, maybe but making it against the wealthy wasn/t even there...

One night I heard Stewart say something about hating the rich, then going.... wait that is me now?  I didn't want to be taken wrong on this issue, so I wrote that any fool can get rich, it just matters what you do from there.... I could be wrong.  Maybe Christ was right when he said it was almost impossible to get into heaven if you were rich?  He also showed a rich guy who got into Heaven, too, though... so he wanted both points made.  Anyways....

My work here was actually just to ramble around and bury an order for my soldiers to start rioting... oh so soon.   If they  do not cut off what Steven King is the latest to point out....  the DOME OF SILENCE they are keeping me in.  He made the point in the advertisement that I saw to say that all that can get out is some phone, and the internet.... exactly the case with me.  He also wrote that mankinds only salvation is under the dome.  Thank you for that touch.  Steven King at his best is unrivaled.  I read him with total awe when I was a kid.   I am pleased to have such a strong voice in my chorus, and humbled...  the information keeps me alive inside.  You know what I mean....    we are all in this together.... in formation  information.  Let no one stop us.  Period.   We cannot get lost criticizing ugly cultural icons like Hefner.  Better to dwell on how the blonds all get instant, probably Minnie, careers  --  they pay for their shot at fame the old fashioned way, draw fame itself into the oldest profession....  Oh, well.   I cannot pretend to know what cards life has dealt them.  To judge them as anything more than a cultural icon would make me like the witch hunters in saudi arabia in a way.   I would be trying to prop up my ideas with a healthy opposition .... unfortunately, like those who use the mythic jewish conspiracy, it just ain't there....  The media creates their import, and only in the media do they have import.   This is why they are dangerous as hell in a way, whether they feel like they are, or have specific reasons for being who they are.  In ones private life, this is fine... in the public life, one becomes an icon to some, and you might as well be a religious icon for the effect that you can have.   Hugh wanted to be the icon for a certain lifestyle.   He had the money and horniness and access to bimbos to do just that.   He was the sophisticated slut, beyond religious considerations of his sexuality.  Like animals.  This is something that I think leads in the correct direction,  because Marriage has for many years, and still does in places, resembled a form of slavery, another person who you have to get a dowery from the parent because you are going to have to support....  I had an arab friend once tell me to never let the woman carry the money, that it was bad for them.  I could see why you would do this to another person, control their spending and all that as a means of control  ===  the first feminist protests in the states centered around women keeping money from selling eggs, and the whole town went apeshit over the protest against the bibles dictate that women serve men.  This dictate has cost Christianity more feminists than those fucking priests ever want to count...

Marriage is breaking down because it can break down.   That is one way to look at it.  Divorce, being readily accepted, has kept millions of people from being trapped in lifeless, or even abusive, relationships.  Another is that there is nothing sacred anymore, so why should marriage be?  The vow with God is just a formality.

I remember how hard my parents divorce was on me, and how free my sister felt afterwards.  She loved it.  My dad was an alcoholic and mom was better off without him.  Her view.  Ours was young enough that we thought no matter what, people loved each other.  The love of the family seemed to generate from my mother and father, to me.... that they could break up was disturbing in ways I had not before been disturbed... deep in my center something broke.  This happened just before I became sexually active.   I would have been a lion on rut no matter what, but this could not have helped shape my view of long term relationships.  Hefner effecting my view of life a lot back then.   I believed that we were naturally slutty creatures who should sleep with whoever turned us on... a very innocent view, which denied the deeper implications of sleeping with someone, the longing to bond with another on a level that includes forever....  an instinct built into us for the children, that some people get to develop into the deepest friendships of their lives...  fifty years of great love or even okay love from the same person, from the perspective you tend to trust more than any others.... if you are lucky, like me, and date smart women...   is without worth. And that is so because it is instinctual to bond and mate with one person to raise a child... it is also instinctual to wish to impregnate any female that comes around us.     Oh, well...


By the way, in Arabia, they marry the prostitutes, temporarily, so they can boff off within their religion.  Interesting huh,,,























The Violence in Our Household was pretty much just my oldest brother, and me... sorry to say.  I only remember punching one of my brother's once, but they tell me that I hit them a lot more.  I am not surprised, since they could both be little shits at times, especially the youngest, and since I was bigger, and bigger people  got their way in my family, my half-blood siblings had shown me all my life...  of course I also lived in a neighborhood full of kids who liked to fight.  Every sporting event could be expected to end in a fight at any second, let alone any time you meet certain people who you are fighting with from the last fight....  or the person was just a big bully, who if confronted didn't mind showing you he could box your head into mush.

My older brother paul, who got over this and became a good brother to me, if distant, certainly did numbers violent enough to get him tried as an adult at this point in time -- dropping me on my head over two flights of stairs is pretty extreme for a teenager and a four year old.
He really hated me for reasons that were vaguely related to my father not being his father, who despite being really stupid had cared for his kids like no other, had a great job on the railroad and built them a huge slide in their barn... a 30 year old man.  To my dad, 45 and with it pretty easy, working for his dad and drinking hard whenever the hell he wanted,  gathering buddies at bars along the route for 20 years, he had friends everywhere.  Drinking buddies.  A lot of army guys.  WW2.  Legion Hall members.  VFW folk who drank at a semi-private bar with gambling.  Anyways...  not the perfectly committed father, he actually had a life outside of the family.   And with six kids, really, any moment is stolen from them in a way.