Growth is the essence to keeping me interested in my own writing. I learned a lot on Facebook, but the social interaction without editing is something I need to stay away from for now.
I am embarrassed to say I stupidly, for one day, ran out of my medication, due to snow and the pharmacy being closed and procrastinating, and ended up drinking some rum to kill my pain enough. I cannot tell you how many years it has been since I did this. I mean, I can't drink on my medication and have been on it ten years. It is not a very good alternative, and i should never write anything when I am drinking. It is the worst poetry.... sometimes I know what I was thinking, sometimes not. I am no Bukowski.' One of the reasons I easily gave up drinking was it got in the way of writing, actually.
Anyways, what I am writing about is being misinterpreted too much. I want to make sure that I have control of all of my metaphors, and am being clear. I guess with the revolutionary prose, and the usual addled violence in my work, I have to make sure there is a legal distinction going on. I write about a guy who has a lot of vd and reads sports that he hates, and played him on the radio.... I have no diseases, okay?
I have been writing books on line for years now. Long ones, well reviewed. A novella. Two books of poetry, a huge volunm of short stories. I put them up here, or a lot of my them.... I add some stuff to the final product, to add context and readability to the story.
I am embarrassed to say I stupidly, for one day, ran out of my medication, due to snow and the pharmacy being closed and procrastinating, and ended up drinking some rum to kill my pain enough. I cannot tell you how many years it has been since I did this. I mean, I can't drink on my medication and have been on it ten years. It is not a very good alternative, and i should never write anything when I am drinking. It is the worst poetry.... sometimes I know what I was thinking, sometimes not. I am no Bukowski.' One of the reasons I easily gave up drinking was it got in the way of writing, actually.
Anyways, what I am writing about is being misinterpreted too much. I want to make sure that I have control of all of my metaphors, and am being clear. I guess with the revolutionary prose, and the usual addled violence in my work, I have to make sure there is a legal distinction going on. I write about a guy who has a lot of vd and reads sports that he hates, and played him on the radio.... I have no diseases, okay?
I have been writing books on line for years now. Long ones, well reviewed. A novella. Two books of poetry, a huge volunm of short stories. I put them up here, or a lot of my them.... I add some stuff to the final product, to add context and readability to the story.
People are very sensitive this week, after a congresswoman and others who shot and murdered by one of the most psychotic sounding individuals to get the media spotlight in awhile. Paranoid. On edge. No one is to blame for this guy's behavior, unless it is the mental health officials who, due to severe budget cuts in that state, let this obviously disturbed man act without any guidance... and I would not blame them, because they do not have the resources.
I hate that this person can slander anyone who is slightly similar to them, or speaks with Metaphors of War. The mugshot they keep showing has a leering psycho. But... he does. Brings home the sickening reality of what violence really is -- not the glamorous tv stuff at all... no, just horrible.
I have decided that I am going to move back to fiction, and give up on the pundit/radio work entirely for about a year. I have too many books coming out of me right now to set them aside and do something that is not as important.
The internet and being on line may be the future, but there is still something about being able to stretch out into a book and all the nuances of that, the way you enter a fictional dream that is sustained. That is what I have wanted to do my entire life, and was doing. Of late I have been exposing that process to people on the web, writing various places.
Now I have too many notes to not stop, compile them, and get back to my work.
One reason I need to do this is monetarily. I have been neglecting the business side of my work. Irresponsible of me, and I regret it. I will feel better if I withdraw back into polishing what I am doing for awhile.
I have been trying to write on various different levels, to various different people. Even on Facebook. Once in awhile I would write something that I knew only a few people would get, very inside jokes... or not jokes. References to something that happened during the intelligence work. The problem becomes that without the context of the character who is saying the words, Facebook begins to seem to blend them all into one person, who is me..
This leaves me once again with the old dilemma about writing about a serial killer. I am no serial killer because I write jokingly about one. I do not think they are cool, the real ones, not at all. Their presence sickens me so much that I have to make light of them to deal with knowing about their twisted ways.
I am sick of my various characters getting confused with me in real life. This is why compiling them in books is the way...
OUTLINE FOR X BOOK.
This book is written in here, mostly from Facebook snippets. The narrative arch is what needs to be added into this prose. I am basically going to take a few of the incidents that I tell about, and show them. Write a few scenes out.
The book is supposed to be taking place now, to the point that I add current events. Underneath what I write about X is the truth of what I know of how politics works, and intelligence. But I also want to be able to speculate, and take this character into what I think of as The Future. I have been writing about this character since 2007..... from the moment I kind of started discovering Political Power.
The oddest part of the X story is not the fiction, but the truth. The problem is, I do not have the full truth and nothing but the truth. This is one reason why X has to speculate, and why I have to take refugee in fiction, or Gonzo Journalism if you will, at times.
Funny, having trained myself to write about a lot of different characters, priding myself in having all these narrative voices, writing hundreds of short stories about folk who live quite differently than my own,
I still find myself constantly mistaken for someone I am not.
I expect my work to be provocative, but that is all. There are not enough excuses in the world for most violence. That is the God's honest truth. I have to have a contract with my readers that we understand that about one another. I would hope most writers of good conscious feel that way.
Obviously, I believe in the Pen, not the sword. I am a writer... duh. I made my choice long ago, when books civilized me, helped the world make sense, gave me a strong moral compass, that while sometimes it makes me feel like shit over the guilt, by and large keeps me on the narrow path I choose. In fact, this is why X, like myself, writes above ground, because he will never do anything violent. He talks about it all the time, how that is how he was trained by Dr. Stern, his mentor. That is his bent, too. He is a law abiding person, who just happened to get swept up in a movement.
X's army came into being after Bush stole two elections, and people were worried the Republicans were going to steal another one. Of course, his story at this point in the narrative is just like my own story, to some degree. I was in the Blog Wars at that time, as they called them. Very political time... happy to help Obama along, and kind of revived with politics, and driven by a general disgust with what was going on with the Neo Cons.... I was so glad to see him elected, and he was the man of the hour, the right man at the time, and still is. Funny, I feel like I have to criticize him, because we disagree, but I really like Obama. I am still rooting for him, even though I know that sounds uncool. Why wouldn't I be? This is way too soon to try to judge his presidency. I like a lot of what they did. I do. He has passed a lot of legislation. I write essays about all that as they pass through the news cycle, try to give a balanced view of how I feel.
I don't think one should criticize all the time without giving praise where it is due...
Funny, before this I avoided politics for about twenty years, to some degree. I was more interested in art, literature. The Reagan Revolution had strung up my political idealism in the 80's. I was getting a lot of fiction done, too. Comedy stories. Very productive. Just before the Radio Show, which I decided to use for political purposes... which led back into writing more directly about politics.
Funny, my old editor, of fifteen years, did not like when I put anything TOPICAL in my work.... because she thought it would not stand the test of time. A bit old fashioned, maybe, but good advice from a writing teacher, and it does help keep older work reading like it is current. When She gave me this advice, I had not yet started writing for the internet. I was publishing short stories and fiction, writing comedy skits.
To continue the X narrative. He starts out... during Bush gets all these contacts.... X proves himself to the country before any of this happens? He comes to the aide of the president, who he does not even like, when he suspects there is a plot against them... He hates violence and will not tolerate it in anyone around him, and people respect that.
I will start that book with a brief Bio of the character, bringing the reader up to speed. X writes on the internet, so it is easy for him to tell his tale. HE IS WRITING FROM BEING UNDER HOUSE ARREST.
On a website. So, the first person narrative. The tricky part is making sure that I do not hide the truth of my story too far under the fiction... where no one will hardly notice it at all... in fact, I could be obscuring what I really want to get across if I get all technical about it, as I am going to today.
But I still want to write about X as more of a Romantic Character than I am. He is more of a survivalist than I am. He is committed to living on beyond any economic decay, and fighting the good fight no matter what happens... in a way, he is very positive. He thinks the world can change, non --violently, in most places... and especially in the USA, where he dreads any thought of a bloody revolution. He is committed to doing anything to stopping such developments.
X describes himself like the Open and Legal part of the IRA, the political party that shuns violence, and tries to work in the system. This is an exaggeration, a metaphor and a half.... I hope I never meet anyone from an underground terrorist organization, personally. I do know also that radicals who believe they are fighting something of an economic class war in this world, are split into a lot of camps. I cannot speak for every country in the world, or every conflict, though. I would be a fool to say that only non-violence works. I am too old not to see that violence is part of politics, and the world is at war in various places today, but that is not being fought here in the USA. Thank God.
So X has to straddle the fence. HE IS ALSO NOT ABOVE using his soldier to barter. Like Wikkileaks saying they will release documents. It is understood that X has followers who retaliate if certain things happen to him. He has even tried to stop this, to no avail, actually.... but he is not the head of his army.
That is another thing about X. He knows he is not in control of everyone. A lot of people he works with would resent him if he started giving too many orders.... but they take them, if they can.
There is a serious overlap between X and The Preacher, the narrator of the New Jesus Book, in that both write for readers who know their tale, and others who do not. I will probably have to edit more of that out of X, actually.
Another stated purpose that X has for putting a book together is make a small book of revolutionary slogans. THIS IS WHERE facebook came in very handy. I have a lot of great statements by X. Some of the best political thinking I have ever done is distilled in his quotes. I have them all rather sloppily in here right now.
and feels like shit about it, but it comes in handy when the Gov. almost decides to kill him and riots break out.... Again, no, that did not happen to me.
Funny, having trained myself to write about a lot of different characters, priding myself in having all these narrative voices, writing hundreds of short stories about folk who live quite differently than my own,
I still find myself constantly mistaken for someone I am not.
I expect my work to be provocative, but that is all. There are not enough excuses in the world for most violence. That is the God's honest truth. I have to have a contract with my readers that we understand that about one another. I would hope most writers of good conscious feel that way.
Obviously, I believe in the Pen, not the sword. I am a writer... duh. I made my choice long ago, when books civilized me, helped the world make sense, gave me a strong moral compass, that while sometimes it makes me feel like shit over the guilt, by and large keeps me on the narrow path I choose. In fact, this is why X, like myself, writes above ground, because he will never do anything violent. He talks about it all the time, how that is how he was trained by Dr. Stern, his mentor. That is his bent, too. He is a law abiding person, who just happened to get swept up in a movement.
X's army came into being after Bush stole two elections, and people were worried the Republicans were going to steal another one. Of course, his story at this point in the narrative is just like my own story, to some degree. I was in the Blog Wars at that time, as they called them. Very political time... happy to help Obama along, and kind of revived with politics, and driven by a general disgust with what was going on with the Neo Cons.... I was so glad to see him elected, and he was the man of the hour, the right man at the time, and still is. Funny, I feel like I have to criticize him, because we disagree, but I really like Obama. I am still rooting for him, even though I know that sounds uncool. Why wouldn't I be? This is way too soon to try to judge his presidency. I like a lot of what they did. I do. He has passed a lot of legislation. I write essays about all that as they pass through the news cycle, try to give a balanced view of how I feel.
I don't think one should criticize all the time without giving praise where it is due...
Funny, before this I avoided politics for about twenty years, to some degree. I was more interested in art, literature. The Reagan Revolution had strung up my political idealism in the 80's. I was getting a lot of fiction done, too. Comedy stories. Very productive. Just before the Radio Show, which I decided to use for political purposes... which led back into writing more directly about politics.
Funny, my old editor, of fifteen years, did not like when I put anything TOPICAL in my work.... because she thought it would not stand the test of time. A bit old fashioned, maybe, but good advice from a writing teacher, and it does help keep older work reading like it is current. When She gave me this advice, I had not yet started writing for the internet. I was publishing short stories and fiction, writing comedy skits.
To continue the X narrative. He starts out... during Bush gets all these contacts.... X proves himself to the country before any of this happens? He comes to the aide of the president, who he does not even like, when he suspects there is a plot against them... He hates violence and will not tolerate it in anyone around him, and people respect that.
I will start that book with a brief Bio of the character, bringing the reader up to speed. X writes on the internet, so it is easy for him to tell his tale. HE IS WRITING FROM BEING UNDER HOUSE ARREST.
On a website. So, the first person narrative. The tricky part is making sure that I do not hide the truth of my story too far under the fiction... where no one will hardly notice it at all... in fact, I could be obscuring what I really want to get across if I get all technical about it, as I am going to today.
But I still want to write about X as more of a Romantic Character than I am. He is more of a survivalist than I am. He is committed to living on beyond any economic decay, and fighting the good fight no matter what happens... in a way, he is very positive. He thinks the world can change, non --violently, in most places... and especially in the USA, where he dreads any thought of a bloody revolution. He is committed to doing anything to stopping such developments.
X describes himself like the Open and Legal part of the IRA, the political party that shuns violence, and tries to work in the system. This is an exaggeration, a metaphor and a half.... I hope I never meet anyone from an underground terrorist organization, personally. I do know also that radicals who believe they are fighting something of an economic class war in this world, are split into a lot of camps. I cannot speak for every country in the world, or every conflict, though. I would be a fool to say that only non-violence works. I am too old not to see that violence is part of politics, and the world is at war in various places today, but that is not being fought here in the USA. Thank God.
So X has to straddle the fence. HE IS ALSO NOT ABOVE using his soldier to barter. Like Wikkileaks saying they will release documents. It is understood that X has followers who retaliate if certain things happen to him. He has even tried to stop this, to no avail, actually.... but he is not the head of his army.
That is another thing about X. He knows he is not in control of everyone. A lot of people he works with would resent him if he started giving too many orders.... but they take them, if they can.
There is a serious overlap between X and The Preacher, the narrator of the New Jesus Book, in that both write for readers who know their tale, and others who do not. I will probably have to edit more of that out of X, actually.
Another stated purpose that X has for putting a book together is make a small book of revolutionary slogans. THIS IS WHERE facebook came in very handy. I have a lot of great statements by X. Some of the best political thinking I have ever done is distilled in his quotes. I have them all rather sloppily in here right now.
and feels like shit about it, but it comes in handy when the Gov. almost decides to kill him and riots break out.... Again, no, that did not happen to me.
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