the state of the world

I have myopically concentrated on my writing for the last few years, ignoring too much of what was happening on the net... my own happiness at finding an audience for my work was pleasant enough to inspire me to up my out put quite a bit, and hone my skills for the world of the internet writer.  A breed I lucked into working with by virtue of running traditional poetry readings, and being introduced to blogging as a way to showcase my short stories while searching for an agent for One War.

I could never have predicted what started out as a way of getting my work cataloged and edited would end up as how I would reach millions.  The blog developed into many things from there on out, always kind of anchored in trying to be funny, in an acerbic, atheistic way that was insulting, quite frankly, to thinking religious people.   I went too far as a lot to toward blaming religion for a lot of the world's problems that have nothing more to do with religion, than the chimps who also wage war for Territory's;    you would have to pretty naive to think Chimp's have anything similar to religion, just the hierarchy that led our later institutionalization of religion as a means of social control, and revolution.   Religion is really whatever you or someone else makes it for you.... a trick of geography and how many times your parents beat and caressed you;  I hardly think a just God would blame those who were broken down by this life, whether by disease or their own folly, and end up becoming truly criminal sinners.  The jails are filled with the mentally ill.  Did God say anywhere punish the mentally ill?  No.

In fact, back then, the visions of the schizophrenics, if high functioning enough, were considered portals into unseen world, as were dreams.  We cannot imagine what it is like to truly think in the various human geographies that exist on our own planet now, let alone back then  We can study primitive societies and get glimpses of how we were once, before the slow progress of knowledge caused entropy to slowly  dissolve most of what was once believed true.

I have always found myself among the great critics of any and all politicians,.  A comic foil if nothing else in my writing.  The enemy, almost, since they seemed to be taking orders from people like the Moral Majority, that wanted this country  going the exact opposite direction I remember thinking we should go as a kid, and never much wavering since....  essentially.  Liberalizing, becoming more just, progressing, etc...  Just seems logical, when you look around at how much better our lives have gotten in so many ways because of sewer systems, modern medicine, cultural evolution, etc...   Computers, etc...  give me great hope in humankind...  I mean, disaster after disaster we weather, and  scar tissue is actually stronger in the end, even if it does burn with angry  red pain.

Along with my innate wish to be hopeful in some respects, while still cleared eyed as much as possible while evaluating the news,  I want to write about how Obama, despite all the stuff that is going on where he is not doing exactly what I would (thank God, because I do hope he has access to a bit more intelligence and expertise in the world than I do -- you would never know there are others just like me on the web, by how sure they think they know why a president acts as he does).    He has expanded the war to 75 countries.  Total War For Total Peace.  Me getting what I saw coming, or what I wanted, and what I hoped to avoid.

I hoped for peace talks when Obama entered the war.  OBAMA FORGIVE OSSAMA, LET ALL THE WARRIORS GO HOME...  was the huge sign I put in my windows on Lakeshore Drive, months before he declared.  I think if you make the decisions to go war, you should also make the decision to go to peace talks.  Behind the scenes, there should always be those with their eye on the prize, the end game.  Peace.  Soldiers in the field cover the peace talks with hushed silence, hoping and praying that progress is being made to stop the killing.  Eventually, a cease fire can be hammered out.  Of course, Militarily speaking, you want to have a lot of power before you go to that table.  You want to be the clear winner, but that is the thing.... we are beyond winners and losers.

We need to concentrate on stopping terrorists attacks.  If that requires pulling out the troops because our activities are generating a huge enemy army across the middle east who will sooner or later become effective instead to strike our shores again (and gave nus just  last month some of the highest soldier's deaths of the war), then we balance this with our safety concerns for our allies in the region and get out.  If we have to take thousands of Iraqi's with us to guarantee their security, so be it.

In Afghanistan, I hear the president is going ahead with talks with the Taliban and Warlords.  He just wants peace, and as they compromised with the Taliban before, they will again.  This does not have to mean we lost this war.... though Bushes neglect of this region for Iraq will certainly go down in history as a bloody mistake made by civilians lying the military into a war run by a cowboy who understood so little about actual war, that he declared victory after the first year of what is now the longest conflict in our nations history.

The G-20 summit filled me with fear. Obama did not agree with the totality of the austerity measures being asked for, but cutting the most vulnerable s safety net out t from under them at a time when there are no jobs even for the highly qualified?  He went with that.  Who knows what will come of this?  Budget deficits are not all bad, if they are under control.  Certainly, better than starving folk in the streets....  

When society has to go against the most vulnerable...  we are headed in the wrong direction.  I do not think this is Obama's vision of the world.  I believe the situation he finds himself in critical, with the entire world on the brink of a depression that he has to do anything in his power to avoid....  I do not envy what is on his plate, as he grays rapidly before our eyes.  He'll have stark white hair by the end of his presidency....  or at least I hope it takes that long.

I have actually decided I have been spending too much time trying to follow various news stories, and the news in general.   I need a break to just think about my own writing, paint, come up with jokes and formats for the radio, edit all the new poetry I have been putting up, get to the movie script.   And just shoot some silly little movies.  I want to remember how to have fun.  I really do.

So please president Obama, hurry up with this war, so we can spend that money back here, where we need it.

Facebook erases my comments after a few months.

In order to preserve what I want to use on my radio show, I am going to start doing a highlights of my facebook world in here.


This will of course then get published on facebook.  I am finding Facebook is a good place to sharpen my wit, develop my punditry further, and in shorter bursts.  Veering away from fiction, even into soundbites, is a good direction for t development of my radio show.






I will try to give these a bit of context, if they need, and will provide links to the articles.  This is something I will then begin doing weekly, kind of a news of the week, best of thing I will do, which is of course what will end up on the radio show.  Not that this will all be the same shit that you read in here.






I will be working on this throughout the day...  trying to keep track of the dates.... etc... ugh, what a project.  Still, when I can pull it up and get jokes about any type of event in the news, I will be happy.   I want to write this baby all by myself, and it is a project my novelist buddies think I am an idiot for allowing to distract me, but I am more political than they are, I guess... or more willing to not care what others think about me.  My ability to survive and write is dependent on no one except me, thank god... and I worked very hard to get here and that freedom is nothing I will sell.






And don't forget that is what a true sell out is... someone who gives up their true politics to fit in.   They become a part of the problem.  This does not mean getting successful requires selling out, etc.... not at all.  Wealth can also give one the ability to show their true politics, as well.  Go good rich guys, write them checks....








We have within us innate abilites to communicate in different ways. Some Feminist think a female, sharing model, or co-operation, rather than a male, us versus them paradigm in education would change this.... but I think sports clicks in, again, some genetic programming to establish heirarchy. We are so similar to apes. Watch them gather and dance around a kill, and you have sports fans cheering. Now, our closest relative is the Bonobo chimp, a matriarchy, and their female leaders instigate a big orgy before eating, so everyone shares. And this is why I am all about putting women in charge of the world (real ones, not the ones who incorporated the patriarchy to get a foot hold in the man's world -- read sarah palin). I would surely love it if instead of war, the president announced we were going to invade, say, France for a drunken, drugged out orgy. I am sure the troops would be happy.

The Last Traces....

of human kind floated on a great city-ships
out into the dead and dying oceans

their great wealth buying them a few more years

what they hope is enough time

to build some space vessels and take off for other planets

the chosen few we all want to be

the one who gets an in with God 

hits the lotto and praises that feeling of being CHOSEN

until you blow it all and fall down further than you ever would have

saw the documentary--damnedest things

I never buy lotto tickets;  

money better spent on something I know works, 

like weed

the young starlet says God made it so

grew old and cursed the creature in the sky that would turn her haggard and weak and sick

blaming or praising GOD depending on the luck of the cards

rabbits feet and crosses and lucky numbers and newspaper horoscopes 

and the tales the gypsy psychic tells and the finest presidential speech

I think of the fanatic few who would compile the list of who gets to live

say Oil Rain boiling up out of the oceans kills the North American Continent

a meteor  is coming at that will take half of Russia

There are lists of who goes where to be saved in the event of a nuclear war

Chicagoans are advised to drive to Kentucky, the mountains...

traffic is expected to make such an escape functionally impossible

a chosen few will get helicopters out

the rest will probably never even be told what is coming 

there will be no way to maintain order if the dedision is being made

to leave most of us for dead

Who would stand for it?

Not me...  

some mad few would feel responsible for preserving the species

a few hold outs at tom cruises 5 million dollar bunker and other places less mapped

known, or silly....  serious places hidden under cloaks of national security

secured places for presidents, generals, the basics to keep a government running

some kind of civilian control over the military

CROSSING THE RUBICON

IS WHAT HAPPENS when the soldiers decide to step in

when they say enough is enough we need to correct something here

occasionally they have been good men who set power aside after the war

occasionally they've become the most brutal monsters ever to take human form

a buddy and I have been discussing for a month or so

whenever we get together

the population and exponential growth

the old adage of the wise man who asks for just one grain of rice doubled daily

and takes the kings fortunes in a few months...  

or more likely took what he could and leave with his head 

I hear of a lecture well received in academic circles about releasing ebola

as the end game

in population control

sat by the beach under a tree feeling a lake breeze and lucky to be in such beauty 

with a dog in a park filled with friendly people at peace 

thinking I would never choose to be among the chosen

I don't want to be on the list of who gets to live after the viruses are released

won't work as a camp guard if someone decides the best way is camps

won't hide underground until the poesin passes and come out and pretend we did the right thing

God or not there are some sins that no means can justify the end of...

some places the very soul should not go

I urge the masses in my stupid ass preaching in the alley

to avoid being noticed kind of way

Socrates constantly questing 

unwilling this time to take the Hemlock and slip out silently

taking solace he has lived up to his laws

no 

this time this Socrates arrived prepared for a fight

for the return of all he once died to preserve

how desperate will we get when it comes down to pure us or them?

US OR THEM FOR THE RESOURCES OF THE PLANET JUST TO SURVIVE

NOT TO MAKE A FEW MORE BUCKS

and God knows what we do to each other for a few bucks..

a higher standard of living

what will we do if it comes down to how to feed ourselves?

won't take no ticket on a space ship

go out on the ocean to avoid the death of the continent

won't flee into a mountain shelter and live out a few more years

as the species die out around me

won't camp out in that cemetery 

and try to pretend that some God has chosen me to be a brutal, murdering beast

I will be like my ancestors and die with my soldiers

fighting for the survival of a few ideals at first

then  the lives of a few people I love

one fucking stray cat would be enough to live on and fight for

yea' I'll captain this little ship over the waves or into Davy Jones Locker 

Proud to have Painted My Own Flag

u

claims of thunder

the braying donkeys spewing the news
play characters
for cameras
ears
eyes

never caring
never daring
to wonder what they are doing to this country
just an act of tears and populism and propaganda --
political soap operas that pay them the big bucks/
earn them a bubble of luxury
they
don't notice
the swastika's tattooed on their forehead
as they pretend the Nazi's had the best method to be a patriot

forget they are house slaves

they deny the greenhouse
to have an us versus them to exploit
unwittingly dividing and conquering for chaos alone
as they tell themselves nothing moves but the money

yet

the roar is always there
underneath the patter of people and tv's and radios

the whispered scream 

of a planet dying

evidence is in...

says the deniers all have agenda's 

other than keeping the planet alive

they're post sacrificial zombies

heartless meat walking and talking and consuming with the lust of a demon

did we already make the fatal mistake?

last month was the hottest may on record
and the earths temperature is at the highest point

in recorded history

I watch schools of scared fish on the net 

they just swim this way or that

following whoever happens to be swimming first

hoping like hell they can avoid the sharks

with no guarantees at all ever

they want so bad to give their enemy a face 

a target

some way to fix this mess

look up into the skies and make up worlds just out of sight 

as we leap from a burning earth

into the great unknown

Hope, our stupid companion left over from primal times

a survival imperative that

requires denial

maybe that is why they claim there is no greenhouse

just can't deal with the horror that is coming 

whether they believe in it or not...

WHO IS ADVANCING SCAMATOMOLOGY ON FOX NEWS..

Greta Van Susteren

Who: The stiff-jawed, thoroughly plasticized legal expert hosts On the Record with Greta Van Susteren on the Fox News Channel. She's also a big-time member of the Church of Scientology and a pal of Sarah Palin.

Backstory: The daughter of a Wisconsin judge, Van Susteren moved to Washington, D.C. in the late '70s to attend Georgetown Law. She soon turned to personal injury litigation, and after marrying fellow trial attorney John Coale in the late '80s, she joined his ambulance-chasing law firm where she represented victims of natural disasters, fires, and plane crashes such as the Valujet plane crash of 1996. (Coale was famously nicknamed "Bhopal Coale" for zipping off to India to sign up new clients following the 1984 Union Carbide Corp. poison gas leak that killed more than 2,000 people.)

Van Susteren didn't become a household name until she started appearing on TV. She first stepped into the spotlight covering the William Kennedy Smith trial for CNN in 1991, and became unavoidable during the O.J. Simpson trial a few years later. She went on to host CNN shows like The Point with Greta Van Susteren andBurden of Proof, then in 2002, reportedly frustrated with playing second fiddle to Paula Zahn, she jumped ship and moved to New York to join Fox News. The tabloids had a field day with the many changes Van Susteren made to her appearance before her Fox debut, which included a new face, new eyes, and new set of teeth. ("I'm hoping to make jealous all those guys who wouldn't date me in high school," she said at the time.) She's hosted On the Record with Greta Van Susteren ever since and signed a new contract with Fox News in June 2010.

For the record: Both Coale and Van Susteren are active members of the Church of Scientology. She's a major donor to the Church, too, although her sizable donations in the late '90s were reportedly listed under the name "Greta Conway." (Conway is her middle name.) Van Susteren and Coale are tight with a number of other high-profile L. Ron Hubbard fans. Tom Cruise once considered making a movie about Coale's legal exploits. And Coale and Van Susteren's firm represented fellow Scientologist Lisa Marie Presley when she divorced Michael Jackson. Interestingly—particularly in light of Scientology's notorious objection to psychiatry—Van Susteren's sister is the noted forensic psychiatrist Lise Van Susteren, who ran for Senate in 2005.

Drama: If the couple's association with Scientology isn't disturbing, there's always John Coale's relationship with Sarah Palin. Coale has been an adviser to the former Alaska governor for several years and helped establish her political action committee. And the four are friends, too. More than a few eyebrows were raised among media types when Van Susteren scored several exclusive interviews with the Palins (including one with Todd Palin aboard a snowmobile), and invited the Alaska's former first couple to a charity function as their guests. Then again, ethics have never been a strong suit for Van Susteren and Coale. While trolling for legal clients at the site of a natural disaster would likely earn you a scolding on Van Susteren's show these days, in 1995 the Fox News anchor and her husband were sanctioned by West Virginia's Lawyer Disciplinary Board for "inappropriate solicitation of prospective clients."

In print: In 2003, Van Susteren published My Turn at The Bullypulpit: Straight Talk About The Things That Drive Me Nuts.

Personal: Coale is Van Susteren's first husband. (She's his third wife.) In New York, the couple live on 48th and Broadway, just steps from Scientology's NYC HQ. They also have homes in Washington, DC, and Clearwater, Fla., which happens to be where Scientology's "spiritual mecca" is located. They spend weekends aboard the S.S. Sophie, an 80-foot yacht named after Van Susteren's now-deceased spaniel. The boat occasionally docks at the Mattituck marina on Long Island since Van Susteren (along with a friend, formerMs. editor Elaine Lafferty) are the owners of the town's Old Mill Inn.

private armies or a draft? You know which you will choose. Without Cheney telling them they can be lawless... let's remember these are our soldiers, too... you hypocrites who say you support the troops, then slam Xe

Firm Once Known as Blackwater Gets Afghan Contract

By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

Published: June 19, 2010

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Filed at 1:31 p.m. ET

KABUL, Afghanistan (AP) -- Part of the company once known asBlackwater Worldwide has been awarded a more than $120 million contract to protect new U.S. consulates in the Afghan cities of Herat and Mazar-e-Sharif, the U.S. Embassy said Saturday.

The United States Training Center, a business unit of the former Blackwater, now called Xe Services, was awarded the contract Friday, embassy spokeswoman Caitlin Hayden said.

The company won the contract over two other American firms -- Triple Canopy and DynCorps International, she said. The one-year contract can be extended twice for three months each for a maximum of 18 months.

Under the name Blackwater, the Moyock, North Carolina-based company provided guards and services to the U.S. government in Iraq, Afghanistan and elsewhere but came under sharp criticism for its heavy-handed tactics in those missions.

It has been trying to rehabilitate its image since a 2007 shooting in Baghdad's Nisoor Square that killed 17 people, outraged the Iraqi government and led to federal charges against several Blackwater guards.

The accusations later were thrown out of court after a judge found prosecutors mishandled evidence. The Justice Department has appealed that ruling.

In the wake of the ruling, Iraq ordered hundreds of private security guards linked to Blackwater to leave the country. Iraqi officials said the order applied to security guards who were working for Blackwater at the time of the Nisoor Square shooting.

Xe eventually lost its license to operate as protector of U.S. diplomats in Iraq and the State Department when its contract expired last year. Nine months later, the State Department temporarily extended a contract with a Xe subsidiary known as Presidential Airways to provide air support for U.S. diplomats.

some memories grow stronger
over the years
all the thoughts between the event and the now
add to the word world we enter
when we think of
THAT DAY
whatever it is for the one
or the other
who we pass silently
unknowingly
through our day
the sexual assault
the brutal parent
the misfiring chemical
the endless list of ways to fuck up a kid's head

I feel my anger over some things has grown
fed by newspapers and conversations
and hours of sleepless nights
thinking
Wittgenstein wrote
about how we enter a game
when working with words
a library of self referential novels
line the shelves of our mind
some got the Turner Diaries* 
some got a bible
self-help books/dr. phil/opera
we have one for ever situation
type of conversation
a salesman knows
the words are all a game leading to a sale
con men know
fortune tellers know
waiters know
shrinks know



poet's and prophets
play the same cords
in man
we can make the dance mad and frantic
or gently romantic
a threat to the elite or an ode to ayn rand

most of us forget
that the words have a purpose
every second
that they beckon
into your world
an invite some will take graciously
and others will sneer off like a hot girl
who has been hit on too much to notice an innocent hello

an undercover agent
knows every word
has deeper meanings/possibilities
weigh what they say carefully
to keep guns from being pulled
and fighting for their life

This a war
you were drafted into by your own morality

you have no choice
except to take orders from your consciousness
deserters will be shot
you know because you ran and your hands grew traitorous
life empty and irrelevant
put the gun to your temple and fired
God or something caused the miss fire... after miss fire... after miss fire

I can't go to any family funerals
because a guy who molested me will be there
with his innocent kids
I won't pretend that we can come together without violence
I am not that person anymore
the blood on my hands dries
and that just tells me there is a need for more

somebody gotta keep swinging

because the enemy is everywhere
somebody
gotta stand and swing their sword in a circle
as they go down surrounded
eager to meet their God with the blood of his enemies smeared across my face

those wounds you never would have thought will never heal...

 some memories grow stronger
over the years

all the thoughts between the event and the now
 add to the word world we enter

when we think of
THAT DAY

whatever it is for the one
or the other
who we pass silently
 unknowingly
through our day

the sexual assault
the brutal parent
the misfiring chemical
the endless list of ways to fuck up a kid's head

I feel my anger over some things has grown

fed by newspapers and conversations
and hours of sleepless nights
thinking

Wittgenstein wrote
about how we enter a game
when working with words

a library of self referential novels
 line the shelves of our mind

some got the Turner Diaries*  

some got a bible
self-help books/dr. phil/opera

we have one for ever situation

type of conversation

a salesman knows
 the words are all a game leading to a sale

con men know

fortune tellers know

waiters know

shrinks know

poet's and prophets

play the same cords

in man

we can make the dance mad and frantic
or gently romantic
a threat to the elite or an ode to ayn rand

most of us forget
that the words have a purpose
every second

that they beckon
 into your world
an invite some will take graciously

and others will sneer off like a hot girl
who has been hit on too much to notice an innocent hello

an undercover agent
knows every word
has deeper meanings/possibilities
weigh what they say carefully
to keep guns from being pulled
 and fighting for their life

This a war
you were drafted into by your own morality

you have no choice
except to take orders from your consciousness
deserters will be shot
you know because you ran and your hands grew traitorous
life empty and irrelevant
put the gun to your temple and fired
God or something caused the miss fire... after miss fire...  after miss fire

I can't go to any family funerals
 because a guy who molested me will be there
with his innocent kids
I won't pretend that we can come together without violence
I am not that person anymore
the blood on my hands dries
and that just tells me there is a need for more
somebody gotta keep swinging
because the enemy is everywhere
somebody
 gotta stand and swing their sword in a circle
as they go down surrounded
eager to meet their God with the blood of his enemies smeared across my face

(*book about insane right wing revolt that inspired Mcveigh, the domestic terorrist, or whatever he was)

There is a revolt going on, folks..... I could order fighting in the streets today. I could order people to kiill themselves and others. I have done it before, and I will do it again if I need to. You probably don't believe me. That's what we are counting on.

3 hours ago · Comment · 

Jude Chemello

I'm revolting....define as you will. hehe

3 hours ago · 

John Scott Ridgway

Yes, I started this bit of my psy-war campaign with the line WE ARE REVOLTING... and then thought better of it. I am telling the truth here, though.... back in the bad old days that got me thrown in jail.

3 hours ago · 

John Scott Ridgway

Anyone who doesn't believe me, and I wouldn't, should understand some things I write are for those who all ready know all about me.

3 hours ago · 

Jude Chemello

You can recruit some pretty useful characters in a jail stay.....eh, I use every opportunity I run into. lol Get 'em John. I'm out again. This just made me chuckle, you know the chuckle, I'm sure. Like I've said in the past, during my uncontrollable ranting days, the government doesn't have full rights to psyops....they just have more drive...we'll get there.

3 hours ago · 

John Scott Ridgway

I started this at 44, and that became a code number we used... why did the young girl break into a skyscraper downtown, go up to the 44th floor and kill herself two years ago? Why did a student go into neiu antrho class, the exact class that I described in my writing, and kill a bunch of students and himself? Why did all the flights suddenly getcancelled in 2007? Why am I presently surrounded by the second largest private army in the world? Why did Bush, Obama and Clinton and the pope curry my favor? Why did the english get pissed at me and put out a commercial about someone 'dissing' the queen when I went after the old bitch? I am one of the rightful heirs to the thrown of England and it pisses me off that a bunch of selfish Germans run the thing. I would have given all of that money away long ago. Period. Making the people pay for her upkeep when she is the richest woman on earth is not the kind of Royalty that I come from. Nobless Oblige is not in her limited volcabulary -- wasn't mentioned in Machiavelli's Prince, I guess.

3 hours ago · 

John Scott Ridgway

Am I kidding around, making up a character to play on the web, the actor/writer preparing a cosmology for my radio show, a separate universe of truth from which I will be broadcasting? NO.

I could list a lot more... a professional wrestler, killed himself and his children, telling them God would take them in heaven, and the press reported the drugs he was on that were driving him crazy, and my new shrink had me on the same shit... this same week a stranger in the street gave me a pdr.... I got off it and all the psychological problems that had been effecting my life since the start of the radio show went away. Someone is fighting back against me, of course. A lot of people in Intelligence work with me. When I said nuke japan a few weeks ago, an alert went out on military channels that nukes had been launched on Japan... they blamed it on china, but damn, I have friends and we are ready to make this a better world, from the shadows, where the real shit goes down.

Consider the IRA and their non-violent, more legitimate front party. I am the front party, though I refuse to really go be some public figure. I prefer to let other people take the glory. One day I wrote in my blog, I VOTE FOR ISSUES, NOT POLITICIANS. Back during the campaign for president, and Bono was on TV the next day on a white back ground, quoting me without attribution. After I hear Stewart yelling out my name on his show, after I wrote that when everyone knows my name, we will shout it from the mountain tops... I had no idea such a thing would actually happen. I thought I was still fairly unknown. The next day I wrote something about that song, secret agent man, and quoted that being exposed would get him killed, and inferred basically, that I had to be like a spy, and they too... to revolt. They shut up about my name. Oh, the same night as stewart, Gwyneth Paltrow came on tv, talking about me, and saying she smoked weed on her set. I was very big about getting weed legalized, and knew the cops would be wathing me for weed since I was doing a pot show, and I had wrote in my blog, ANYBODY COMES AFTER ME FOR MY WEED, WE ARE GOING TO HAVE A PROBLEM.. BIG FUCKING PROBLEM.

I am too honest for their company, but I have told them, I will help you, but I will not pretend that I have to lie to the american people. I think Intelligence needs to represent the morals of the people. And that means open up what we do. Not everyone agrees with me. The only time I find myself reluctant to disperse info. is when I got someone out of jail...

about an hour ago · 

I do a lot of stuff I am not proud of Jude.  Sometimes I wonder if I am wrong to refuse to hear their secrets, which they would tell me I sign a loyalty oath.  They came to me and told me not to write any books, just to write them in my head, and then I would no need to write them down.  Some huge fucker.  He said I should write children's books.  Interestingly enough, one night a few weeks before, I had been bitching in my apartment to my girlfriend about all the  shit that the gov. was doing to us, and got all pissed and said I was just going to quit writing, or only write children's books.   And they really came after my ass.  I challanged them.  Started a show about weed and wrote in my blog and said on the show, THEY COME AFTER MY WEED AND WE ARE GOING TO HAVE ONE OF THOSE BIG FUCKING PROBLEMS.   They know I run in radical circles and have the support of a good number in the military , including generals.  McCrystal is an expert on the same form of warfare that I am, and Obama is basically right now fighting a war I helped lay out.   I helped Bush and Cheney, too.  Enouraged the average soldiers to kill with my comedy, and on a televised USO that they did.  As my serial killer character, Johnny Pain, who originally brought me fame among those who have to learn to laugh at killing, and put off the crying until afterwards, when they suffer post traumatic stress.  You would not believe the security they keep around me.  They moved a lot of people out of my neighborhood, etc... and let me know about it.  Four attempts have been made on my life.  The Arabs hate me for what I have said.  I wrote a joke the soldiers loved and put up everywhere, about passing a Fatwa that goats asses had to be covered, because now they turned himon as much as little boys and women (who they keep covered)... and since I often offer them my support, as well, and they monitored me and contacted me because i am so against an iranian war that they consider me an ally (My fame started right with a poem that had the first line.... Not one drop of Persian Blood, then went on to list our sins in that vicinity).  So I am no amatuer at  this....  what do you think, would I be better off going over to their side and working within, or keeping my independence, and my vow that everyone should know what is being done in their name?  I kind of have the best of both worlds now.  They keep secrets from me, but follow my lead none the less.  For awhile, someone was trying to bust me, fbi, for the deaths and stuff our campaign caused (not at my behest, by any means, which is why they found no smoking gun, though a one guy, a communist from la, had his long hair pulled out by hand as they tortured him looking for connections to me... he was able to contact me when I walked around the deep south side where no whites usually do... since the blacks have been with me from the beginning, since I studied under a panther and work with Jessie Jakson and father Phleiger, their local champions in these parts, they have tended to be my best allies.  Them and spies.  Obama claims he is working with me... his speach writer uses my lines, as I told him to.   I flirt with fame with the radio show, and am famous here, but the cops are great.... at the height of everyone knowing what I looked like, they followed me everywhere, and just kind of steered people away from me who were asking for a lot of my time (and checked id's from asians around me, and targeting them in my hood because the guy I studied mi under was also a communist --- I am not.  I would like to see a real democracy, and capitalism like it should be, without explotation, and open to all.... not just the rich few, or those who are willing to work themselves to be like the rich few... and for what, more beads?    Fuck heads.  Money is power which is why I am going ahead with writing a script for the characters from my radio show, even though I know the mob will make a little money off the deal.... they owned the radio show.  If it will make me a few millions, every penny will buy a bullet in some parts of the world.

Big Love...