1) MOONBONG HAZE: His Ger-Bong Bong Cleaning and High Impact Constipation business will be much hyped on the show. Like a commercial. He will also implore various celebrities to let his gerbils go, the ones who have kept them in their but too long (they do have air tanks).
2) CHESTER BALLS ON U
will give his take on the sports, where he describes the cheerleaders, and forgets even what sport is being played, which he knows nothing about anyways. He always digresses into his latest veneral disease count and begs for a woman to swap diseases with.
3)JESUS BITCHES AT CHRISTIANS: this will be Jesus being pissed at all the stupid preachers out there. This will be comedic, but real. I will read poems from Waking Up Jesus here that are fairly serious.
4) Cult of The Week. I will explore unknown cults, the dynamics of cults, how to spot them, etc...
4.B will be Scamatomologist watch, which is be specifically on cruise and other celebrities, and i will expose them for the slavers they are.
5) Shove: This segment will feature various protests that have taken place that week, and why. they barely get any coverage.... I will also be announcing the next weeks protests in Chicago.
6) Comedy Stories. I have hundreds of stories, in various characters, that I will read.
7) The poetry will veer back and forth from Waking Up Jesus to the revolutionary poetry of the elves attic.
8) Burning Bush: This segment will stay on top of the issues concerning Bush, from the death of the guy who rigged Ohio's election, to other verifiable data. No conspiracy stuff here.
9) Military Watch: This will focus on what is happening with the war, how i feel about it, and how my guests feel.
10) Sex tip of the week. I will ask all of my guests to give one tip to my listeners for a sexual thrill.
11) Bong and Pipe reviews, as well as news on legalization issues surrounding pot.
12) SLAVERY NOW: This segment will focus on how there is more slavery now than ever before. Moon Bong Will Endup with a bunch a slaves or something funny...
13) Music. Since Jimmy Peace has a hit song, I will be playing a lot of his band, and Richie Ornelas from California is contributing. Any independent band that wants a shot at getting on the show should just send me some music, or point me in the right direction.
14) Guest Interviews: These interviews will be different than most. I will actually give the questions, ahead of time, to the interviewee so they can formulate interesting responses, and I can think of some funny shit about the questions. I find that this helps get the best anecdotes out of people, does not put them on the spot, and avoids topics they want avoided. Kindness is going to be the key word to how I treat people. I only want to talk to cool people.
15) Johnny Pain will have his serial killer report for the week, talking about his neo con slaughters and accidently killing his girls family, the problems raising a hamster army, etc...
I am presently looking for people to play a couple roles. I need an african american to play General Gangsta X, who will talk about black power issues on the show, and get involved with Johnny Pain in killing klansmen and shit.
Another need are females who will play celebrity characters. I can swing both ways, voice wise... I mean, not that I don't... never mind.
The Issues that I consider most important on the show are liberal, almost socialistic politics (though I have a right winger buddy who is going to come on for very civil discussions so we show those fucking politicians how to be bipartisan). I want to report on how the internet is shaping a one world culture, censorship issues, the patriot act, black power, immigrant rights, native americans, etc..... UNCLES SAMS LATEST BITCH will be the segment on minorities getting kicked in the teeth,
17) IN THE ARMY: This will be a segment for my fans in the military. They really made me proud to know they were over there laughing at this shit in the middle of hell. I made it that day. A best seller or whatever is just gravy after that memory. Anyways, I will read about bad veterens hospitals, ill treatment by the government, etc... I will also read the names of the dead.
That is a lot, you would think.... but when you figure that I am going to be doing four hours a week. At first, there will be a lot of me reading essay's I am writing on politics, with a lot of humor.... and the above stuff, which I hope to record most of it before the show... I want some improv, but I do not want to rely on it all the time.
18) Commie Bastard: this segment will have an intellectual I know explaining communist ideas in his own rough, violent, funny way... and reading his demented poetry.
19) Philosopher of the week. Might as well use that major for something. I want to spend five minutes giving overviews of various philosophers who you think you know,but don't .... expecially Neisch (spelling) who gets such a bad rap.
20) THE RELIGIOUS PSYCHO KILLERS SHIT LIST... by Johnny Pain: This segment will encourage nuts who are just going to go on a killing spree anyways, to kill some people who it matters.... I joke that this will give their parents one damn thing to be proud of after their shitty life....
21) Golden Shiv Award: This is offered to whoever kills the child molestor or rapist that I point out who has just gone to prison. Comes with three months of quality bitching, a free pass with all gangs.
I could write out ideas all night. Remember .... all of these ideas are protected by law, and if I see them show up anyplace, I will do things to you that will make you beg me to kill your wife and kids instead.
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