This poem started out for this site, then ended up being for Waking Up Jesus, which means that I am writing in the myth that I have laid out in that book.... Suffice to say, at this point Jesus is being held captive in Chicago, both because of his propensity to cause religious madness in people, and his own safety. He is being kept by a shadowy conspiracy of people who have watched him since he began growing wings at the age of five. Afraid of what a disruptive presence a political angel could cause to the worlds governments, and unsure of how exactly to respond to a young Jesus who had not yet been told by God who he really was, they raised him with no knowledge of who he was. Kept him hidden from world view in an obscure family, in a small town in Garrett, Indiana.
His conversion suspiciously enough co-incided with starting a liberal radio show under a Republican President, after writing very graphic, violent, comic prose about a war between the left and right, and studying under various radicals, communists and Puerto Rican Seperitists, which made the more right wing aspects of the intelligence agencies very nervous. After keeping him under wraps for 44 years, he began to show signs that the conservative government took to his backing them, such as being for a war with the muslim Taliban.
He is unsure of what to believe, even now. The religion he knew as Christianity, and remembers, as he does various past lives where he remained incognito to others, and often himself... is very different from what he feels to be the truth...
The most important thing to remember about this Jesus is that indeed, I did become convinced it was true, as did many,many other people, and there is an underground faction that very much believes this to this day. It blows my mind on a daily basis, but I cannot change what happened to me... and who am I to interpret what seems like the work of God?
Drunken angels dancing a divine dervish
on the edge of the universe
ravers feeling god in the touch of sweaty flesh on Ecstacy
Yaqui warriors eating peyote doorways into magical realms
sleeping saints
slumberously roused in the body of addicts
Burroughs and the Beats discovering the speedy quest
to use up life living On The Road
burning out their eyes staring into the sun
Butterflies
pinned up in a collector's display
by bloody hypodermics
Christ rises bewildered into the industrial decay
stunned by the conjourings of his Holy visions
morphed for 2,000 years into tales he doesn't recognize
a crippled deity
disgraced by associations
A spirit that has risen in generations of Holy wars
to fight for the rights of Grace
a slayer of errant priests
and rabbi's buying organs
from the poor
to sell to the rich
their myopic lust to be different and chosen
makes enemies of the weak
the Israeli's settlements disrupt the nuclear balance of power worldwide
Christ just sees them as just another religion that cannot be trusted with his powers
He looks at the people stranded in the spiritual drought
hopes God has sent him here for a reason
besides just giving up on man and burning all this shit down
The Holiest One watches the Sunday morning minsters
sees barkers at a carnival of faith
where sending in a few bucks mean they can spin the favor wheel and win everytime
all their prayers answered
for once... a dream that never dies
The Christ has seen man since he was not man
knows the beast that rises in the flesh
knows... God has his own ways
that man is evolving physically and spiritiually
a budding/a rising/a preperation for a cosmic journey
The geographically isolated asylums
where the words are held close and parced out sparringly
where the mad can preach up blood lust and suicide
a hardening that brings Holy men
to tying the mentally retarded to steering wheels
to suicide a few of their latest oppessors
the media addicting mysanthropes
traveling the country to hold up signs
at soldier's funerals saying they are going to hell
The Biker's who show up wanting to bash in their skulls
as they hide the mental breakdowns on display from the grieving famalies
the homophobic rhetoric everywhere
that pretends God damns over consensual sex
just because they can't face the facts that animal libidos don't respond to sermons
--they respond to the touch of the one who creates
they pretend like they know his will
as if god dropped us like mice in a carnival game
where the startled rodent makes a run for the first hole that offers sanctuary
from the unwittingly cruel, laughing crowds
intent on winning a cheap teddy bear
setting off those 'shopping' serotonins
Newscasters to presidents to preachers
spewing smooth voices in biblical cadences
the words themselves less important than the clues to clap and cheer
The ego soothing voice of Hitler's
assuring their dominions of the rightousness of enemy blood
as he turned an entire country into vampires
feeding on the wealth and blood of whoever they could enslave
as he ratched up the xenophobic apes until they danced into the bonfire
filled their heads with suites of shining gold armor
myths of soldiers whose lives were as gorgeous as their deeds
created whatever occult religions worked best
speed came out the sci-labs and rendered a generationseemingly invincible
flew the Kamakazi's minds
drove the Nazi's
Keeps Navy Seals hyped and ready for days
Hitler and his co-horts are no different
than the speed-headed guy who wanted to rape steven spielberg
when he was caught and came down
he had no fucking clue at all as to why he did that shit...
Greenhouse mayhem is starting to be craved
The Jehova Witnesses love that we live in the pre-apocolyptic age
part of the Dungeons and Dragon world they've created
the drama whore humans
who want their simple deaths to reverberate throughout known time
to be the Holy Fires Of The Hand Of God
the Christians expect to be vindicated by the last fires
live for the last day
waiting for that spiritual spaceship to the stars
the Greenhouse becomes a biblical prediction
instead of just another sin of the money-maddened
Christians are donating millios to send the Jews back to Israel to hasten the effect
Some say the Nazi's were part of a plan to bring me back into existence
to fullfill the prophecy of the return of the Jews at all costs
The blood of this thought . . .
Anything is possible when you are the Son of God . . . after accepting that one
everything that I thought true comes into question
I do not feel like I am here to end this planet
God's will is His own
I will do as he says
Use my torch to burn down whatever he commands
I will watch the innocent burn with the wicked
rejoicing in their spiritucal rebirths
I would never sacrifice lives to set up a prophecy
Lies about my life in the new testament can be traced to old myths
that were used to convince later followers of my divinity
Nothing more!
Now I will take no followers
the world has enough
Jesus asked people to think for themselves
this is why he was rejected by the Rabbi's
Humankind has struggled for freedom since
the first gestations of life
when the struggle merely meant fighting to get out of a bigger fishes mouth
A sign on the church lawn reading YOUR GUESS IS AS GOOD AS MINE
doesn't bring in the thirsty masses
in philosophy it doesn't attract students to classrooms
professor's try to fill in the cracks in our logic
theories
that have to appear
different enough
to add something more
to the mysterious malaise
tenure required stories
told with the academic niceties
the arguements we have come to believe lead to truth
purely because of agreed upon logical structures
built into the language...
Sunday School teachers convert with their half believed rhetoric
we are programmed to suck up
rise in the heirarchy by listening to our elders
a way to endure long gone rigors of nature
meant mostly just to breed quick enough to adapt to the shifting face of the planet
to spread the seeds of our forefathers -- the plants
rock stars and preachers and prof's all with their own theories
belief is a psychic phenomena long torn away from the mere laws of physics
respects no fossils or rulers
defies quantification
the answers to the arguements themselves are spells
that convince when repeated long enough/needed long enough
sometimes we have to convert to avoid a mental breakdown
try out a new self-hope book or slant on Marx
that seem almost as right as any other
our need to believe
is a fiction writer hidden in our unconscious
where it parcels out our story second by second
we try to find the narrative that makes sense
the deeper into the paradigm lies of a cult
the more sense the world seems to make
another of God's endless ironies...
Judges in courts of impossible standards
meant merely to show, most of all, our ignorance
in the face of God
our myriad of religions are mere strings of light strung out into the darkness
we flutter from illumination to illumination
our souls mindless moths
caged in our rational minds
Our very souls must weep
as they see the flesh they inhabit
raping and killing and stealing
In the countless onslaught of prophecies
confusion is require
The stunning revelation
that there is no revelation
that can trump all others
habit becomes the holy
five kneelings a day prostrated before Allah
reinforces even the most backward conclusions
or releases the most humble being within
In the Staes we can leap from religion to religion
try them on like suits
begin to see how man uses the word of God
more than the word of God uses man
the body typing the words wants to explain
the world as a Christian dream
only now truly rising from the cavernous depths of the mystic
remembers the years feeling the spirit of God rising up in his flesh
an unwelcome possesser
commanded by God himself to accept this new found Royalty
the voice that came to me
after my government locked me up in a hospital
& filled my athiest writer mind with a rising deity
Brought the madness of revival across the world
confirmed that at least the bible had one thing right...
I returned...
They have awakened a deity who most will not believe in...
Who yet is listened to by the powerful and pious
those who wish to see how the mind that shaped all minds
perceives the experiences of this life
... those who wish to glimpse in the son
the ways of The Father
Telling my story now
seems like adding to the endless religious fires
that drive men to war
I have no choice in the matter.
My God has answered my unasked prayers by showing me
a path through an eternity that I did not know existed
I do not know what the father requires of me
I trust he made me into the proper tool for my job
He has shown me that I am the praxis for great shifts in human consciousness
gave me the words to lead a revolt against preditor of the poor
He on high has shown me that all humans are created equal
He gave me life in this land because the States must lead this world
One way or the other at this point....
I am humbled by limitations
knowledgable of how futile it is to attempt to hold God's plan in my mind
When I was being informed of who I am
messages began pouring in from the radio, tv, the computer
The powerful knowledge of being a Christ
when they were drugging me into psychosis to make the visions flow
forced me to wonder what my unconscious knew
to wonder what i was capable of...
the fear all around me
the lightening continually striking the trees in front of my house
on the lakeshore as I walked past the water...
the dream of endless fire and lightening flowing from my body
I was surprised that people thought I herealded the end of the world
The idea that Christ would return and fight an apocolyptic battle
had never entered my mind
My christian followers were looking in their bibles for the prophecy of my return
My presence seemed to confirm that the book was literally true to them
I wondered the same myself...
two years later and I am finally able to understand why God made me leave behind
the wealth and fame...
I failed to realize that this was my time in the desert
Wrestling with the demonic
trying to fight my out of the twentieth century secular mindset
and allow my past lives to teach me what man had mostly forgetten
They tell me that I am the king of kings
that I grew wings as a child
They tried to give me the world
At first they heard only when I said
I was a spaceman
as I am
in a technical sense
I came here on light
in a process as old as life itself
God told me a planet was awakening unto itself
and I was to protect the souls
that were coming into being there
Or so the visions seemed to show
So I will believe
if it helps me to be a person who never stops fighting
for the Ultimate Justice
I tell myself God cannot care whether I know who I am
as long as I ask no one to worship this son
can't even care if I am right or not
I will write nothing in stone that leads others
to my ambigous summit
Trust only a God who has revealed little to me
leave the bibles and their half-histories to those who God has not approached
He came after me in my dreams
gave me great predicitions that come true
showed me that his wrath is great against those who harm his son
You are chosen
everyone is chosen
I was chose to help you save yourself
you were chosen to be saved
not from death.... but from life
the endless cycles the eastern religions discovered thousands of years ago
then used as man will
to enslave
the newest preachers seem as right as any others
footnote their mutterings with ancient writings mired in disputes
charasmatic cultists gathering tribes seeking unique delusions
something 'truer' than a deity long dead on a cross
gang bangers learn an alterrnative military history of themselves
are given the Gods of war from the ancients
the slots in their young minds well oiled to accept lies
by this century of ours... the age of buyer beware
I see the suited ones out doing work for their Lord
holy robots roaming the neighborhoods
trained to stay on message
salesmen selling Good Lord Loving
cults of the latest mental snake oil of serotonin highs
discovered thousands of years ago in the east
Hear of how the scientologists are forbidden from reading any criticism of their sect
brain-washed into only noticing the reality that is a prop in their play
in a monastary a Tibeten Monk sits on cold stone and empties his mind
feels as if the molecules in his body are dispensing into space
knows the temporary flesh can barely house his spirit
a woman lights a candle in a Catholic Cathedral
A stained glass Christ hangs bloody on a Cross
She prays for forgiveness and for a moment is okay with being a human
sufi seances of preaching and singing and dancing
stoners doing bongs for jesus
southern baptist black call and response
silly releases of chemicals that give us waves of euphoria
mistaken as meaningful outside of our heads
playing god and godlings and worshipers
waking up in a book we are writing unwittingly
with every cynical cigarette
every curse/hatred/hell we inflict on another
immortal beings in flesh
we tell ourselves
to quell the mad fear of simply ending
not being
rotting out
into forgotten dust
raised to believe whatever is most convienant for the powers that be
weened on history books filled with hero stories
sermonized to hide ourselves behind a judgemental silence
to hate ourselves for behavior evolved over million of years
the fundamentalists mock the beast that their god created
tell themselves that they know better than the beasts who were not driven from the garden
the sex that is play and pleasure in nature becomes a cancer unto our souls
overpopulation or aids or infidelity...
ten commandments can't change
all those billions of years we've fucked about anything that moves...
buddhist aprentice monks used to sit with bodies as they decayed
to learn the imperminence of life
in Chicago we read about the kids killing each other
the soldiers dying -- as their names pass on the news we mutter, how young, how young...
madness coming at us from every wall
lies from every scene on the tv
in every tale we read
the deeper you look the less you know
we became surface skaters denying the ocean under our ice
we stare into the dark and give shape to shadows
see our satans and heathens and infidels and mongrols and selves
blessedly blind and deaf/the wisest man sits on the beach and feels the sun
tells himself the warmth is the very love of God
and this is all he needs to know of the universe
that man must need less and less
think less and less
that when he truly empties his life of the worldy
God will come to him
and He will be recognized by the wordless places in our minds
even as our thoughts rebuff Him...
good stuff.. hopefully we'll chat soon on facebook, I keep looking for ya..
ReplyDeletebob
Thank you, Bob. It means a lot to me that you are following my poetry. I would rather have one intellectual than all the brainless masses that have been repelled by my change from comedy to poetry. I have been told by other friends, an english major none the less, that he simply cannot understand 'this shit.' That is okay. I am going to something intangible, and that leads to a lot of confusion on the readers part. I should reorganize my sites so there is one that is comedy, one that is poetry, one that is essay's, and one that is just Jesus stuff. I will do this soon, since I am getting ready to do a major media push with these podcasts... which I will begin soon. I have an actor coming over to help me do this. You will love the skit I am writinng. It is Johnny pain, serial killer for the left, meeting his black equivelent. They are going to discuss all their hits. He is very angry,Kenneth is his name, over various things, and we will talk about how he kills all these people. The anti-obama, in a way... and in another way supporting him. I want to take the issues that are hidden under polite conversation and make them the fucking scream matches they deserve to be. Keep on Rolling down that track my friend. Hope you can bring that guitar up this way soon for some jamming on the beach. hell, we could even go to some readings, andyou can back me up. I love doing that. Anyways, you know my door is always open bro. I was not in a very talkative mood when you came by, for some reason. Dirty Dishes when I have a guest freaks me out. Oh, well. I get slobby, there is no denying that, but I do clean up nicely. Bye.
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